AND THE POINT IS.....?

Truly the question of why we are here is relevant. It has been worth the ponder, and continues being worthy of our ponderance because truly, what is the fucking point???

The potty training of toddlers highlights the fact that human excrement and bodily fluids are truly repulsive. Cute as little children may (or may not) be, their bodily functions disgust me. The messes they make with their food, I find enormously disagreeable. Their drool, snot & shit are things one has to have close contact with when caring for them.

When my girls were babies, did I truly not reel from the grossness of it all because they came from ME??? I do remember marveling that my breast fed infant's shit did not stink - that is until around the age of about five months - then something shifted and my olfactory nerve was processing the repulsive smell of human shit.
Dog shit & cat shit are equally gross. Bear shit and the shit (or scat) of wild animals is not. Why the fuck is that? I came across a giant deposit of fresh bear shit and not one molecule of aroma made it to my nose. If that were dog shit I would have been overcome.

And all this repulsive residue of the human creation has served only to pollute our oceans as we mindlessly and selfishly rid ourselves of it and impose it on the creatures of the sea. Now you see/smell it - now you DON'T.

It brings to my attention the words of the opening paragraph of this entry - WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE, ANYWAY? We have toxic thoughts, negative emotions, judgmental attitudes and smelly bodies. Oh, there are the fleeting moments of pleasure when we are in the company of something or someone we love. But sometimes that love carries a heavy toll.....the misery of attachment and all it's side-effects.

Are we truly here to propel our spiritual nature toward the alleged perfection from whence we came? Again - FUCKING WHY????? If we came from perfection, then why didn't we just stay there? Now we have to toil with the impositions of a societal creation that truly seems pointless. I mean, making money, paying bills, finding peace within while we labor with these issues? Finding our passion, living our passion, making a living with our passion ~ or not ~ and being miserable & unfulfilled while we toil with JOBS that don't resonate with our passion because people told us we had to ~ and we believed them!!!

No one has come up with an answer. The one offering wisdom and guidance was nailed to a cross, so why do these people think this entity will grace us with a second coming???? If an enlightened 'savior' did return to this Godforsaken place (pun intended) - they'd put him or her on medication or in a psyche ward in lieu of that cross.

I for one am tired of the whole game of everything ~ the drive to BE someone ~ accomplish someTHING ~ attain anyTHING and maintain a healthy detachment to it all. It all truly comes up as POINTLESS ~ and I truly have been pondering, introspecting and searching outside & more importantly INSIDE for decades ~ and it still comes up POINTFUCKINGLESS!

My precious little grandson is due any day to arrive onto this stink ball we've turned this planet into. He has come from perfection, only to be steeped into the cesspool of humanity with all the trimmings.....cellular memories that comes with a physical body, memories that aren't even HIS, but that of an ancestor ~ the pain of being a baby - a digestive system firing up with all it's pangs and pains and the resultant shitting in one's pants and spitting up sour milk. Getting teeth ~ losing teeth ~ getting MORE teeth! Having to undergo the barrage of bullshit the newly arrived are subjected to by the medical profession - pokes with needles, testing for this & that, the painful ritual of circumcision. Now THERE'S one I don't grok - surgically removing something that was placed there for SOME reason we stinky humans don't understand, so we WHACK it off for no other reason than the fact that it was done by others in the belief that a little less stink will be the result.....a few less genital germs will breed.

And, speaking of breeding - there is this insatiable drive ignited and maintained to breed - and if not to result in furthering the species, to only give us this thing called orgasms, or getting off. It's different for each person and none of us seem to match up favorably with another with our drives or lack of drive. This wreaks havoc when we couple up and try, like birds, to mate for life. This chemical in our system, or assortment of chemicals, drives us to make really bad decisions in your younger years (I can speak for myself on this account) thereby subjecting ourselves to further misery, emotionally and/or financially speaking. We breed with others that are not in our best interest - or are they??? Because after all, it's the misery we create for ourselves that promote this allegedly illusive and highly desired state of what is called ENLIGHTENMENT. One can attain this state by finding their center when the pendulum swings toward happiness and away from misery or away from happiness and toward misery.....either way, it's a roller coaster ride that we don't even realize we are on for several decades, if ever.

I for one am stuck in a very uncomfortable middle. I realize that what I don't like in others is what I don't like in myself (now THERE'S a fun mirror to look in!) ~ there's nothing material I am striving for and working toward so that I may possess it and show it off to others or simply enjoy it for myself ~ I seek not love in another human being, because GOD only knows, that love, IF found, comes with conditions I must live up to and fulfillment I must provide for whoever this other one may be that I think I love and am deluded into thinking loves me-or else a very painful parting ensues. I've lived through this one too many times to continue living with this illusion and striving to be part of it.

I may be perceived as cynical or bitter just because I've been around the block so many times that I don't see the point in going around that same block one more time. I'm not depressed or on medication to even things out, but that does remind me - having one's hormones in a jar in the refrigerator does at least make for one not being enslaved by their own hormone production gone awry.

So where do we go from here? Someone DO tell... what IS the fucking point?

Yes, We have No Plums (or is that bananas?)

There are no plums on any of the trees that supplied my breakfast all of last summer.
The snow landed heavily on the blossoms, and luckily I photographed this beautiful site.....because it resulted in no fruit.

Each morning I walk past the trees, whereas last summer I would stand beneath them with my dawg and engorge myself gratefully on these succulent spheres of purple juiciness chock full of nutrients, this year I just walk past them without having tasted one this entire season.

Yup, these times, they are a'changin'.

LOVE IN THE CENTER

The puppet strings have been severed and the life force within me has been liberated from the ever-swinging pendulum of our dualistic nature of mind this very evening.

I FEEL SO FREE and OVERFLOWING WITH LOVE and SOFTNESS.

Further details will follow, but I wanted to share ever so briefly while I am freshly immersed in this wonderful place that I have been passionately seeking for this entire lifetime, and no doubt lifetimes prior to this one.

~BLESSINGS to all who read this, and to all beings everywhere~

NETFLIX NO MORE! I'M WRITING A BOOK!

THIS IS IT....I'm going to put my neflix account on hold for 6 months to immerse myself in photography, my art/music & bringing the next book into reality. It's time. Movies have been great for the mind and relaxation systems...the great TUNE OUT. They've been inspiring, watching the documentaries on the Impressionists, and a host of other masters in all sorts of genres, hence being a great TUNE IN.

Then there's pure entertainment of the finest sort: The Tudors series. I could watch 8 episodes in an evening, getting to sleep really late. Such a sensuous presentation! Many amazingly handsome manly men who were also ruthless and total candy in appearance, demeanor and voice. Mmmmmmmmm.

The billing cycle begins July 5th, so I'm going to have my last hurrahh this weekend and it will be a fling gone by, a total indulgence, sort of like double fudge chocolate ice cream.

It's NOSE to grinding stone - as in the time of writing DIARIES. "People - bring me prepared meals, plates of fine cheeses and fresh fruit" ~ the campaign is on: "Feed the Author"...... that's the list of names in author's Acknowledgments: "I could never have written this book if so and so hadn't fed me...." It's frequently a trusty spouse at the end of the list, the author gushing forth, "and finally, last but not least, I could NEVER have done this work without the undying love and support of my beloved husband, Mr. Smith!" My sometimes lonely self with the history of non supportive relationships tries not to GAG when I read that one line. A line I will not put in my book.....but you people that FEED me....you KNOW who you are! And it's not just food, it's that support and encouragement that keeps me going when I want to take valium for breakfast to be able to sit at the computer for endless hours and not go up the wall from the creative flow taking me and my world on a swift current.


This time around, I will have a dog to walk and tend to, so I will be very grounded. And although my 'invisible friend' who was the hot topic in DIARIES is behind this decision and will be beside me in his own way, he is not the one I'm writing about, so it's more about humor rather than the heaviness of discovering myself in a multi-dimensional relationship. Whew! Glad this book is going to be FUNNY!

Man Doesn't Seem To Learn

Man simply does not see beyond the shortsightedness of his greed and desires to satisfy the insatiable appetite. It does not even matter to a human steeped in greed to consider for one brief moment, the long term consequences of his short term priorities.

ONGOING MASSACRE OF THE ALMOST EXTINCT TORTOISE

27 June 2011 Last updated at 22:34 ET

Madagascar's 'tortoise mafia' on the attack

By Hannah McNeish BBC News, Madagascar

Madagascar's tortoises sell for thousands of dollars on the black market

Continue reading the main story

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Madagascar's poachers, known in conservation circles as "the tortoise mafia", are increasingly hunting down the Indian Ocean island's reptiles, threatening them with extinction.

The tortoise mafia, who allegedly include corrupt government officials and smuggling syndicates, are satisfying a growing demand locally for tortoise meat and abroad for exotic pets and tortoise shells used in aphrodisiacs.

"Everybody is eating them and everybody is trafficking them and as soon as people are brought to trial, there are mafia organisations who help to get them out," says the head of Madagascar's Alliance of Conservation Groups, Ndranto Razakamanarina.

Another conservationist, Tsilavo Rafeliarisoa, says two poachers were caught last year in southern Madagascar with 50 tortoises.

This was a small breakthrough in efforts to protect the island's endangered tortoises, which include the Ploughshare, Spider, Radiated and Flat-tailed species.

Often, poachers roam villages in groups of up to 100, picking up thousands of tortoises over several weeks.

Guns and machetes

They are heavily armed, fending off attempts to stop them.

"When a gang of poachers with guns and machetes come and take tortoises, the villagers are defenceless," Mr Rafeliarisoa says.

Tortoise meat is a favourite dish on the island

He says with food prices rising, more people are eating tortoise meat.

It has become a favourite snack in southern towns such as Tsiombe and Beloka, even among government officials who ought to be at the forefront of campaigns to save the reptiles from extinction.

"They say: 'Give me the special' - and the special is tortoise meat. It is a huge market," Mr Rafeliarisoa says.

Herilala Randriamahazo of Madagascar's Turtle Survival Alliance says he recently went on a research trip to Tsiombe and Beloka, posing as a tourist to see how common tortoise meat has become on restaurant menus.

To his horror, a bowl of tortoise meat, stewed in tomatoes, garlic and onion, was sold for a mere $2.50 (£1.50).

It was served to him in less than 30 minutes.

Continue reading the main story

“Start Quote

People respected tortoises. They did not even touch them”

End Quote Ndranto Razakamanarina Madagascar's Alliance of Conservation Groups

"I sent it back. The waiter said he could get me something different, even a live one right away," Mr Randriamahazo says.

He says the streets of Tsiombe and Beloka are littered with tortoise shells - an unfortunate sign of the insatiable appetite people have acquired for them.

Yet, Madagascar's tortoises were once protected by the cultural beliefs of some of the island's communities.

"People respected tortoises. They did not even touch them," Mr Randriamahazo says.

Now, if tortoises do not end up in the rubbish heaps of restaurants, they end up in the suitcases of tortoise smugglers.

Sexual potions

Madagascar is known for its rich biodiversity but this has attracted smugglers interested in everything from its precious rosewood to minerals and tortoises - and the famous lemurs.

An alliance of 27 national conservation groups recently accused the government of being complicit in the illegal trade, as it had not cracked down on the "looting and plunder" of natural resources.

A WWF report on Madagascar's biodiversity earlier this month said more than 600 new species had been discovered in the "Treasure Island" over the last 10 years, but many were already endangered.

With only a few hundred of the world's most endangered Ploughshare Tortoises left, hundreds of species are crawling towards extinction behind them.

Tortoise shells litter towns in Madagascar

Hasina Randriamanampisoa, of the Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust, says the smuggling rings are well-organised, selling tortoises on the black market in Asian countries such as Thailand.

Wealthy Asians see tortoises as exotic pets, and are prepared to pay up to $10,000 (£6,250) for them.

Traditional doctors in Asia also buy the shells of baby tortoises, using them in medicine concoctions that allegedly enhance the sexual performance of men.

Conservationists say smugglers pack up to 400 baby tortoises in suitcases, before flying to cities such as Bangkok.

Increasingly, they are also smuggling out adult tortoises to breed in captivity in Asian countries.

Mr Randriamanampisoa says tortoise numbers are rapidly dwindling and they risk extinction over the next decade.

"Even if the poaching stops now, the natural habitat is so vast, there are chances that the females cannot meet the males in the wild to mate and to have babies," he says.

Mr Randriamanampisoa said there four species of tortoise "are endemic to Madagascar, so if they disappear here you will only be able to see them in zoos".

ADDICTION

(e dik shen) : n. The state of being given up or having yielded to a habit or practice or something habit-forming, as narcotics (or Facebook!) to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma [(s. of addictio) a giving over, surrender.

I love my giant unabridged Random House Dictionary, a gift given to me by dear Ned, a friend now deceased with whom I shared the experience of his heart transplant in Stanford 16 years ago.
So, why is this my topic this early morning? Well, I'm ADDICTED to writing in the early morning, whether in my hand-written journal or on this blog. As we all now know, I WAS addicted to YAHOO NEWS, but have not read one article this morning and went straight to my first addiction: steaming java with frothed vanilla cream and then sit down to enjoy that with this.

Well, I also didn't answer that first question: why this topic? Well dear readers, we are all plagued with SOME FORM of addiction, even if it's being addicted to saying one is not addicted to anything, because to cease not being addicted to something, a trauma on some level would result. Which brings us to another word:

TRAUMA: n. 1.Pathol. a. a body injury produced by violence or any thermal, chemical, etc., extrinsic agent. b. the condition produced by this; traumatism. 2. Psychiatry. a startling experience which has a lasting effect on mental life; a shock.

So our first definition relates to the pathological aspect, while the second relates to the psychological effect.

It would truly be startling to wake up and not have this cup of coffee and instead take the dawg out for an early morning walk, like VERY early, because I wake up really damned early no matter how late I stay up reading or streaming Netflix documentaries. I honestly don't need no effin coffee to wake up. I simply LOVE the HABIT of brewing it ~ LOVE the aroma as it teases my olfactory nerve ~ LOVE the sensation of anticipation as I pour my frothed and steaming vanilla half 'n half over the deep umber liquid and the foam, ah, the foam! The computer awaits me with the lull of it's monitorial glow and I sit before it with this cup of celestial delight as a concert pianist sits before the enormous Steinway to begin her Carnegie Hall performance. (Yes, we are being a bit dramatic here, but such is the rite of a writer)!

But "WHY", we ask, "WHY THIS TOPIC???" ~ Because...in using the power of those UNIVERSAL COMMANDS, this topic is one of the responses of the universe moving shit around to make one of my commands a reality.....namely choosing clarity of my own mind, clear direction of my life's purpose this time around, and having my soul in command over my mind with my ego behaving itself silently, waiting to serve ME when I call upon IT rather than the other way around, which is the basic curse of human nature.

Like I've told you in my previous blog on the subject when I recommended this book ~ UNIVERSAL COMMANDS WORK. In the book, when addressing the articulation involved in forming effective commands to run your life from your place of empowerment, (not a sniveling, whining little insignificant piece of powerless sinning shit that the Catholic dudes in those weird hats would have us believe we are) it is recommended to look up words for intended use in a dictionary that gives it's Latin root, because a word that sounds appropriate, like "want" - neutralizes your request and your command is not only worthless, but provides for you the opposite effect of what you are attempting to manifest, because 'wanting' means 'lacking' and if you are expressing to the universe your lack of something by saying you want it, you will continue to manifest that which is lacking in your life. (If you must read this sentence twice, then do so, because it is the only thing that makes sense of everyone's lacking enough resources for their lives to be easier and their continued 'wanting' things to go better!)

Hence, my love affair with the dictionary escalates. As I've always loved dictionaries, this love affair may now enter into the territory of an addiction. (Insert big laughing and winking icon here) See how the cycle just goes round and round? Why fight it (?), we are on a spinning planet going round and round, around a sun that goes round and round, in a solar system that goes round and round, etcetera, etcetera. It's only gravity that keeps us from getting dizzy. And we come to learn that gravity, our friend, turns out to be a foe to our youthful appearance~I mean just look at the effect it has on our perky young breasts and our firm, collagen-rich dermis? Are we laughing yet?

The good news is, I don't put any Bailey's in with my morning jo nor do I sneak little shots of vodka out in the shed, splash on my perfume, and think I've fooled everyone. I can't even fool myself anymore, the gig is UP! Besides, thinking one is fooling others, one is only fooling oneself. Because in the end, if your 'extrinsic agent' of choice is as destructive as alcohol or drugs, what does the addiction serve other than the demonic side of the ego? Life is a wrestling match with the demons until one comes to accept their presence without thinking one must engage in a battle with them. The demons in the form of addictive substances (extrinsic agents) will always be present on the material plane, but like our own ego, we must use them without letting them run us and taking over our empowerment. How can you enjoy a cocktail when you have to sneak a shot just to continue the game of thinking you need it in order to function? I'd personally rather have a few beers every once in a blue moon, and enjoy the silliness it evokes for an hour or so, but then again, people DO drink to act like me, I'm just naturally silly when I'm in my natural habitat!

From our place of empowerment, the true REVOLUTION begins, and our global societies are in need of a revolution, for the extrinsic agents have run it into the ground.....the revolution starts WITHIN us. GO FOR YOUR EMPOWERMENT people! Surrendering to addictive tendencies regarding substances that poison the body is giving up your own empowerment. The bad guys, the greedy ones in power, want us all to be addicted to something, it keeps the people out of touch with their own awesome power and keeps THEM in power.

Just look at the energy it takes to maintain an addiction? Just look at how it destroys life, trust, families and the very person hosting the demon? There are demons and angels and both are present at all times.....it's YOUR CHOICE. Being told it's a disease gives the addict an excuse to further give over their power of choice. CHOICE is not just a word, it's a POWER. Disease, whether it's cancer or an addiction is indicative of an IMBALANCE. CHOOSE TO BE BALANCED, and see how your life unfolds. Choose to use your EMPOWERMENT!

PARENTAL FREEDOMS ERODING

PARENTS BEWARE: Your freedom to choose the best course of therapy for your child is at risk. This article listed above is an outrage! Yes, there are the cases of some religious fanatics withholding medical treatment that is necessary and use what they believe is "the power of prayer" for the return of their child's health, and those children need intervening from authorities~~but not in this case.

The authorities are also trying to lump together all cases to support their intervening on parental rights pertaining to this issue. The problem with the judicial system, is they don't look at cases on an individual basis, but arrive at their decisions based on other cases that are allegedly similar.

WE THE PEOPLE need to not let this continue. WHAT CAN WE DO??? ~ if your child has ALOT of energy, too much maybe (all children have more energy than their worn out parents!) DON'T let a doctor give an official diagnosis of hyperactivity due to any SYNDROME they can legally prescribe drugs for. REMEMBER, the pharmaceutical companies are very powerful and have strong influence politically. They are not interested in the well being of you, your children or your grandchildren...they want us all on SOME sort of medication to feed their greed.

I for one was diagnosed as having bipolar depression when I was simply post-menopausal. The psychiatrist did not even ask this depressed middle aged woman in his office if I was taking any hormonal supplementation. He simply prescribed two meds and said "if they work, you're bipolar, if they don't, then you're not" ~ The two years I was on initially those meds, then a change of meds because they 'didn't work' ~ almost KILLED ME. I am not exaggerating ~ suicidal thoughts were prevalent, I could not function, I could not respond to ordinary life stresses in a functional way ~ my personality and ZEST that always got me through everything in life was GONE.

I was desperate for some sort of change, as I know too well what suicide does to the survivors, and I really did not want my life to end, I just wanted the suffering from within to end. I could not use my inner strength to WILL IT AWAY. At the suggestion of a friend, I had a simple saliva test from a doctor to test my hormone levels. They were all so severely deficient, this was said to be the cause of my depression and host of other symptoms, including the resultant osteoporosis that the scans have decided I have. Osteoporosis occurs the first two years after the menses stop. Calcium does not replenish the calcium that is lost in the bones. I suggest everyone google these issues and don't trust their doctors, get educated yourself. By the way: after the compounding of a bio-identical hormonal cream, my depressive symptoms have disappeared entirely and life is once again inhabited by ME, the ME I used to know, I am happy and fulfilled and fully functional. THERE IS NO NEED FOR WOMEN TO SUFFER FROM THIS!

With any health issue, educate yourself. Don't blindly go to the pharmacy with that piece of paper to get some drug without first researching what the symptoms could be caused from. There is no excuse for not taking your health or that of your child to the level of knowing about it yourself, before you even get to the doctor's appointment.

THE GOVERNMENT IS SLOWLY TAKING AWAY THE PARENTAL RIGHTS WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILDREN, using the few cases of fanatical people that shouldn't have reproduced in the first place. DON'T ALLOW A DIAGNOSIS OF ADD, BIPOLAR or any other psychological diagnosis be on the medical record of your child, as they can enforce you give your child drugs that will alter their developing mind, personality and emotions.

HERE'S THE ARTICLE THAT SPURRED THIS BLOG ENTRY: It's an outrage!

Mother battles Michigan over daughter's medication

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AP – This May 12, 2011 photo shows Maryanne Godboldo in Detroit. Godboldo is locked in a battle with Michigan's …

By COREY WILLIAMS, Associated Press Corey Williams, Associated Press – Sun May 22, 5:57 pm ET

DETROIT – Frustration over her physically impaired daughter's medical care led Maryanne Godboldo to lash out at what she considered state interference and into a 12-hour standoff when Detroit police came to take the girl away.

When it ended, the unemployed mother was in handcuffs; her daughter placed in a psychiatric hospital for children.

Godboldo now is locked in a bitter battle with Michigan's Department of Human Services over her right to determine whether the girl should continue taking the anti-psychotic drug Risperdal and the government's responsibility to look after the child's welfare.

Godboldo doesn't trust doctors much — she blames some of the girl's past medical problems on possible physician negligence and complications from childhood immunizations, but did not name the doctors or release her daughter's medical records to The Associated Press. She claims the girl has responded better to holistic treatment that does not include Risperdal.

But the state is not budging on its assertion that without the proper medication, Ariana is at risk.

"Our mandate is to go into court and prove there is medical neglect," said Human Services Director Maura Corrigan, who declined to speak directly about Godboldo's case due to the ongoing court proceedings.

"Is there harm to the child? That's what we are trying to assess," Corrigan told the AP in a recent interview.

A defiant Godboldo still believes she was right to defy police, despite five days in jail and criminal charges, including discharge of a firearm, three counts of assault with a dangerous weapon and resisting officers.

"I was in my home. Why should I come out? They were invading my home," Godboldo said.

Citing the charges, Godboldo declined to say if she fired a gun when police arrived at her home March 24. But officers said a gun and about 43 rounds of live ammunition were in the house, and a spent shell casing was found after the standoff, according to court records. Ariana also was in the house.

"I would always be concerned with a parent who has a gun and is using it when a child is present because accidents happen," said Oakland County Probate Court Judge Linda Hallmark, who isn't connected to the case but handles child custody issues. "If a parent feels the child is going to be removed and there isn't a basis for it, there are legal avenues that the parent needs to follow."

Ariana already had her share of medical troubles when Godboldo started giving her Risperdal more than a year ago at a doctor's suggestion. She had lost her right leg below the knee as an infant and wears a prosthesis. Godboldo claims she also developed encephalitis, or inflammation of the brain, before entering 6th grade.

She said her daughter complained often of being dizzy and had a hoarse voice, became more clingy and fearful, and avoided playing outside.

"It happened slowly at first, but it was enough to know when your child makes a change," Godboldo said.

She sought help at a Detroit area center. Staff there put Ariana on a treatment plan that included Risperdal, said Allison Folmar, one of Godboldo's attorneys.

Child Protective Services in its petition wrote that Ariana was diagnosed with "psychosis NOS," or "not otherwise specified," Folmar said.

"They are saying `it's something going on in her head, but we don't know what it is,'" the attorney added.

But Godboldo balked at a suggestion that her daughter be placed in a mental hospital. She took the girl's treatment to another center. She also decided to wean her from Risperdal, which sometimes is used to treat schizophrenia.

"Ariana has some issues. She requires one-on-one attention," said Folmar, describing how the girl at times appears unresponsive. But "she writes. She reads."

Risperdal often is used to contain behaviors like aggression and even treat autism, said Derek H. Suite, a board certified psychiatrist and president and chief executive of Full Circle Health in the Bronx, N.Y. Risperdal use has shown dramatic reductions in psychotic symptoms, but there can be side-effects, he added.

"Sometimes kids can have neurological problems ... muscular tics," Suite said. "These drugs can slow you down."

After Godboldo's confrontation with police, Ariana spent about a month in a children's psychiatric facility. She now is living with Godboldo's sister, Penny. A judge has ordered that other adult relatives be present when Godboldo visits with her daughter.

But "to this day, there is not one court order saying give her the medication," Folmar said. "No one has recommended giving the child the medication."

It's not unusual for parents and the state to be at odds over what's best.

Two Idaho parents lost a civil lawsuit last year when a judge ruled their rights were not violated by an officer who took custody of their infant daughter so a doctor could check for signs of meningitis. Dale and Leilani Neumann of Wisconsin were convicted of reckless homicide following the 2008 death of their 11-year-old daughter, whose undiagnosed diabetes was treated with prayer instead of conventional medicine.

Godboldo said the state was not involved in the care of her daughter until she pursued a more holistic treatment. When asked by the AP what that entailed, she replied: "God's medication."

After Godboldo refused to attend a meeting with Child Protective Services, officers arrived at her home to remove Ariana. Godboldo claimed they never showed her a court order.

Detroit police declined to comment about the case "because of the litigation involved," Sgt. Eren Stephens said in an email.

When Godboldo refused to allow police in, the officers tried to force their way through a side door but backed off after hearing a gun shot, court documents said.

"Maryann did not shoot at police and she did not fire a gun with any intention of scaring the police," Folmar said. "But even if she did fire a so-called warning shot, right now the question is of self-defense."