ADDICTION

(e dik shen) : n. The state of being given up or having yielded to a habit or practice or something habit-forming, as narcotics (or Facebook!) to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma [(s. of addictio) a giving over, surrender.

I love my giant unabridged Random House Dictionary, a gift given to me by dear Ned, a friend now deceased with whom I shared the experience of his heart transplant in Stanford 16 years ago.
So, why is this my topic this early morning? Well, I'm ADDICTED to writing in the early morning, whether in my hand-written journal or on this blog. As we all now know, I WAS addicted to YAHOO NEWS, but have not read one article this morning and went straight to my first addiction: steaming java with frothed vanilla cream and then sit down to enjoy that with this.

Well, I also didn't answer that first question: why this topic? Well dear readers, we are all plagued with SOME FORM of addiction, even if it's being addicted to saying one is not addicted to anything, because to cease not being addicted to something, a trauma on some level would result. Which brings us to another word:

TRAUMA: n. 1.Pathol. a. a body injury produced by violence or any thermal, chemical, etc., extrinsic agent. b. the condition produced by this; traumatism. 2. Psychiatry. a startling experience which has a lasting effect on mental life; a shock.

So our first definition relates to the pathological aspect, while the second relates to the psychological effect.

It would truly be startling to wake up and not have this cup of coffee and instead take the dawg out for an early morning walk, like VERY early, because I wake up really damned early no matter how late I stay up reading or streaming Netflix documentaries. I honestly don't need no effin coffee to wake up. I simply LOVE the HABIT of brewing it ~ LOVE the aroma as it teases my olfactory nerve ~ LOVE the sensation of anticipation as I pour my frothed and steaming vanilla half 'n half over the deep umber liquid and the foam, ah, the foam! The computer awaits me with the lull of it's monitorial glow and I sit before it with this cup of celestial delight as a concert pianist sits before the enormous Steinway to begin her Carnegie Hall performance. (Yes, we are being a bit dramatic here, but such is the rite of a writer)!

But "WHY", we ask, "WHY THIS TOPIC???" ~ Because...in using the power of those UNIVERSAL COMMANDS, this topic is one of the responses of the universe moving shit around to make one of my commands a reality.....namely choosing clarity of my own mind, clear direction of my life's purpose this time around, and having my soul in command over my mind with my ego behaving itself silently, waiting to serve ME when I call upon IT rather than the other way around, which is the basic curse of human nature.

Like I've told you in my previous blog on the subject when I recommended this book ~ UNIVERSAL COMMANDS WORK. In the book, when addressing the articulation involved in forming effective commands to run your life from your place of empowerment, (not a sniveling, whining little insignificant piece of powerless sinning shit that the Catholic dudes in those weird hats would have us believe we are) it is recommended to look up words for intended use in a dictionary that gives it's Latin root, because a word that sounds appropriate, like "want" - neutralizes your request and your command is not only worthless, but provides for you the opposite effect of what you are attempting to manifest, because 'wanting' means 'lacking' and if you are expressing to the universe your lack of something by saying you want it, you will continue to manifest that which is lacking in your life. (If you must read this sentence twice, then do so, because it is the only thing that makes sense of everyone's lacking enough resources for their lives to be easier and their continued 'wanting' things to go better!)

Hence, my love affair with the dictionary escalates. As I've always loved dictionaries, this love affair may now enter into the territory of an addiction. (Insert big laughing and winking icon here) See how the cycle just goes round and round? Why fight it (?), we are on a spinning planet going round and round, around a sun that goes round and round, in a solar system that goes round and round, etcetera, etcetera. It's only gravity that keeps us from getting dizzy. And we come to learn that gravity, our friend, turns out to be a foe to our youthful appearance~I mean just look at the effect it has on our perky young breasts and our firm, collagen-rich dermis? Are we laughing yet?

The good news is, I don't put any Bailey's in with my morning jo nor do I sneak little shots of vodka out in the shed, splash on my perfume, and think I've fooled everyone. I can't even fool myself anymore, the gig is UP! Besides, thinking one is fooling others, one is only fooling oneself. Because in the end, if your 'extrinsic agent' of choice is as destructive as alcohol or drugs, what does the addiction serve other than the demonic side of the ego? Life is a wrestling match with the demons until one comes to accept their presence without thinking one must engage in a battle with them. The demons in the form of addictive substances (extrinsic agents) will always be present on the material plane, but like our own ego, we must use them without letting them run us and taking over our empowerment. How can you enjoy a cocktail when you have to sneak a shot just to continue the game of thinking you need it in order to function? I'd personally rather have a few beers every once in a blue moon, and enjoy the silliness it evokes for an hour or so, but then again, people DO drink to act like me, I'm just naturally silly when I'm in my natural habitat!

From our place of empowerment, the true REVOLUTION begins, and our global societies are in need of a revolution, for the extrinsic agents have run it into the ground.....the revolution starts WITHIN us. GO FOR YOUR EMPOWERMENT people! Surrendering to addictive tendencies regarding substances that poison the body is giving up your own empowerment. The bad guys, the greedy ones in power, want us all to be addicted to something, it keeps the people out of touch with their own awesome power and keeps THEM in power.

Just look at the energy it takes to maintain an addiction? Just look at how it destroys life, trust, families and the very person hosting the demon? There are demons and angels and both are present at all times.....it's YOUR CHOICE. Being told it's a disease gives the addict an excuse to further give over their power of choice. CHOICE is not just a word, it's a POWER. Disease, whether it's cancer or an addiction is indicative of an IMBALANCE. CHOOSE TO BE BALANCED, and see how your life unfolds. Choose to use your EMPOWERMENT!

ON BEING A NOBODY

Have you ever wanted to be a SOMEBODY??? Make your momma proud, earn a new respect from your friends? Be admired by people you don't even know? Get the last laugh on all those adversaries? Are you now living with not only the dream unfulfilled, but feel you are getting too old to ever be that SOMEBODY? Are you feeling discouraged that no matter how many attempts you've made down that path to "somebody-ism" you're still a NOBODY? Well, CHEER UP, I've got some GREAT NEWS for you!.....Do you know that all those stars, celebrities, sports icons and royal highnesses cannot ever be something you now are?......that's right.....a NOBODY!!!!! No matter what they do, they cannot enjoy anonymity and the invisibility you now enjoy. They can never be what you now are. How many out there aren't even ENJOYING their state of nothingness because the feelings of non-accomplishment, unsuccessfullness, and lack of great financial wealth are in the spotlight of your self judgment.....because you are wishing you were in their positions of regality, importance, iconship? CHEER UP, my fellow nobodies.....we're doing way better than we EVER give ourselves credit for. We are all, when stripped of our positions in society and opinions of ourselves, from the exact same sea of consciousness. We are individual drops of the same sea. We are all sub-atomic bleeps of light from the same radiant beacon. Whether it's the most famous athlete or Prince in the world, or a lowly inmate sitting in a cell for a crime he did not commit. Usually our drive to be a SOMEBODY stems from our childhoods. I'm not blaming the poor over-blamed parental units here, just stating the facts. It is not what they said or did not say to us, but rather, how we took in and reacted to what was or was not said. We carry with us sub-consciously our entire adult lives, that desire to show up the bastards who bullied us in grade school, or to make proud the parent who never seemed quite reassuring enough to our growing egoic natures. The lure of that media attention never shows you what that celebrity has to face every time they leave their palace doors: that wall of photographers with lenses the size of the Golden Gate bridge, the barrage of flashes to where you can't even SEE, the continuous sound of the motor driven shutters capturing our very nose hairs. Those people can never enjoy driving down the road while listening to their favorite song and simply pick their nose. It will appear on the tabloids and everyone that ever stands on a check out line in a grocery store anywhere in the world, will catch a glimpse of you with your finger even slightly brushing that nasal cavity, and the headlines will blow that miniscule gesture out of proportion to the enth degree to sell their publication. They may even photoshop it to look like your finger is wedged all the way up! So the next time you even slightly pick that nose driving down the road, enjoy it fully! Even if you don't reel in a booger that is newsworthy, you will be engaging in a simple human act that nobody in the global spotlight can enjoy. All humor aside here, though....I highly suggest listening to Eckhart Tolle's talk on the Flowering of Human Consciousness. He speaks slowly, with many gaps between phrases at times....so if you have ADHD, know that this aspect of your personality will be challenged - but if you treat yourself to rising above that challenge, you will feel really good about who you are RIGHT NOW, in THIS MOMENT, despite your bank balance, your credit card debt, your lack of a romance or the lack you perceive yourself as having in the fulfillment department. With the striving everyone who knows me to have done in my life thus far, to be a musical star in my younger day, a beloved partner in all my adult years, a literary giant in my middle age, or an overall success in any of my artistic abilities to make my momma proud and pad my bank account with independence, know this: I HAVE GIVEN UP THE SHIP. I hereby no longer wish for any state of being that I currently am not - I have embraced being an absolute NOBODY. This is not a lack of self-esteem that I am expressing.....OH NO......but ACCEPTANCE of the fact that I am a speck in the vast ocean of consciousness that doesn't give a rat's azz about what any society or parent views as a SUCCESS. Be it known that I have no problem with not having been invited to the White House for a party in the 'home theatre' or any of the royal weddings that have occurred in my lifetime, or nominated to run for president or cast in a major motion picture, or winner of a Grammy, Oscar or Pulitzer Prize. Nope, I'm just little ol' me living in a teensie abode out in nature with no servants, valets or personal trainer. I'm not sure where the next mortgage payment will be coming from or how I'll pay for a health issue should one occur. But somehow, it's always worked and nothing has come out of the ground or swooped out of the air in an attempt to devour me. I'm still standing. And I'm continuing on from this day forth without the fears and anxieties of the end of the world or my personal demise. Putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one portion of the day at a time, I know peace---the peace of acceptance of who I am in this very moment and what my current life story is. It's just a bloody story, we all have one--but our story is not WHO we are. As one cannot judge a book by it's cover (unless you're in Barnes & Noble) one cannot judge you and you don't any longer have to judge yourself by the decisions you have made or the story of your life. Don't like it? Just re-write it. Enjoy the ride and even when the script is rough, it's only a script....it's not YOU.