Silent Jitters

This afternoon while painting the window at the dog spa, I felt a surge of terror from the other side of the lake, as they refer to Europe. The time was 4 p.m. or thereabouts, when I felt the energy of the late Princess as her son William was 'speaking' with her, saying "I know how you felt like a lamb to the slaughter on the eve of your wedding, Mum." I felt Diana's sense of abhorrence at the spectacle they are using her son for, and the danger to which they are exposing him despite the grand security efforts. She is indeed concerned at the media frenzy surrounding their upcoming nuptials. No doubt, Wils and Harry are experiencing Post Traumatic Stress moments as the last gathering of this magnitude was their mother's funeral. Of course it will be masked with their radiant smiles.

Rest assured the spirit of the Princess will be there, hovering over her sons and the bride with as much protection as she can muster.

The Firm wanted to heal their flailing reputation and interject a BOOST, and who better to use than Diana's son and his Princess Bride. Wils is indeed leery of the crowd, disgusted with the paparazzi for whom he must be all smiles, knowing it is partly this frenzied media lust that was the cause of his mother's tragic death. The Global Demonic Appetite for young royal blood and it's long time void after the death of Diana is rearing it's ugly head in full force. This engagement cracked the door wide and it's going to be flung completely open in just a few short hours, beginning the next relentless round of tracking their every move and filling the publications with grainy images of stolen shots. I will personally boycott every single publication with their photos on the cover.

I've had a sinking feeling for a few months of this spectacle being used as a platform for violence and have indeed felt the concern of a mother for her children~her passing does not mean she is not present indeed~the veil of the dimension between she and her sons is quite thin.

May this spectacle go off without damaging Diana's precious sons in any way!

COUNTDOWN!!!

It's the COUNT DOWN to two big events: The Royal Wedding and Ave's NEWS FAST. That's right folks.....my addiction to on-line news is going COLD TURKEY.

With a cup of steaming coffee topped with frothed breve flavored with organic vanilla, I set myself down to the trusty Mac and peruse the news of the world several times per day...one would think I have a huge financial portfolio who's balances change with whatever activities occur in the course of the day all over the globe - but NO.....it's a simple addiction. One I intend to not only BREAK, but blog about the withdrawl.

What will replace this time spent viewing news? I will WRITE~DRAW~PAINT~PUBLISH~PHOTOGRAPH~PHOTOSHOP the Photographs~and maybe even EXERCISE! The sky is not the limit with the option of training to be an astronaut. "Houston, we could have a problem!"

It will be an interesting study to see exactly what transpires in my life, and to take some of the pressure off the new ROYAL COUPLE, Wils and Kate, I will make this process public for global consumption. Maybe the tabloids and paparazzi will re-focus onto my nothingness and give their everythingness a break. It could be for an interesting read - moreso than the overdone celebrity lifestyles of over consumption, rehabilitation, criminal activities, etcetera....

My fast begins after the Royal Wedding......why???.....well, because that will be the last hurrah of news addiction substance that I will not deny myself the pleasure of reading about. " With so much suffering on the planet," you say, "why would anyone want to read about something as shallow, decadent, tax-payer wasting and irrelevant as a ROYAL WEDDING?" The answer is a simple question: how will my saturating myself with the sufferings of the world assist in my being a sorely needed bright spot of consciousness? I am sensitive enough to the global and local suffering of people, plants and animals without reading about only that also! Of course I read about that aspect of our media lies - and it does not help my consciousness lighten up.

As an empath and intuitive, I tell you this: I had a dream of a tornado and then the tornado epidemic began the next day. The one in my dream looking exactly like the one they caught on film. And no, all tornadoes do not look alike. The visual of it in my dream is still vivid. I experienced a very intense two day seismic headache and then the Japanese quake and tsunami happened. These are only two on a very unnerving list of how I am effected without viewing any news.

Does anyone out there get seismic headaches? I have for years. I first noticed it after my car crash in 97.... but that's when I first put together that a certain type of headache lasting two to four days always happened before a huge seismic event that effected people. The EFFECTS PEOPLE is the key.....as we all know, seismic activity is constant and daily there are many quakes.....the Chilean quake and Indonesian quakes also were preceded by my experiencing a certain kind of very painful, sharp and intense headache unlike migraine or ones caused by tension.

Well, it's time for my second cup of the steaming nectar and to pay attention to my dawg before the day commences. There will be daily blogs as I begin the news fast starting either May 1st or Cinco de Mayo. I haven't decided which date is the best to begin.....my little news addict votes for el cinco, as that will give her just a few extra days of newsing around. But it's definitely time to start making my OWN news, and THIS is going to be more fun than a barrel of royals!

MONDAY, RAINY MONDAY

ANOTHER DAY OF RAINY-NESS. Yesterday as it was literally pouring, the sun peeped out long enough to give me a quick view of a fleeting rainbow. It was very wide, almost discernible on the hilltop line, and faded within seconds. It appeared to end in the meadow outside my gate, which made me actually see "the end of the rainbow". There was not a visible pot of gold, however.

No complaints from me over this extended moisture, except that it may well be charged with radioactive particles from the infamous Japanese disaster, as the dryness of summer will come soon enough. Besides, the pelting of raindrops upon the rooftop of my yurt sound wonderful, as long as the soggy ground does not loosen the roots of the giant oak which looms high above this canvas concoction that is my bedroom.

That's all I have to say about this little subject. It's ROYAL WEDDING week, and that will be another literary ditty altogether.

IN MEMORY OF MY AUNTIE DOROTHY

This very moment, I just received an email from my cousin telling me his mother, my beloved auntie died in her sleep APRIL 9th at 1:23 p.m.

It is 9:30 p.m. and I sit here alone with this news. At our age when an auntie passes, it would seem like a natural part of life, which death is.....but....in the moments that I write this, it is my only avenue of expression to HONOR THIS AMAZING WOMAN who was so elegant, so gracious, always so kind to me, always believed in me.

I feel shell shocked. There is no one to call. There is no one beside me to hold me as the waves of grief just now begin to wash over me. This woman knew me all my life. This woman loved me all my life. I AM SO SAD!

When she fell some months ago and was hospitalized, then sent home to recover at the home of her son, my cousin, I didn't send her the autographed book I wrote that she was anxious to read. I didn't send her a card wishing her a speedy recovery. I didn't call her and tell her how much I loved her. I just assumed she would always be okay. What an ignorant assumption of pure selfishness! YES....I'm beating myself up for not telling the Auntie that loved me the most for the longest that I LOVE HER, that I was thinking about her. Now, she is gone. Now her son is the only survivor from that family that I saw every weekend for dinner throughout my childhood. GONE. And I have learned about her passing a week after her journey....my cousin too lost in grief to be able to even tell me. What to do with this?

DON'T WAIT TO TELL YOUR LOVED ONES THAT YOU LOVE THEM. I've always read that, and now I'm living the painful result of not telling my BELOVED AUNTIE DOROTHY how much I love her. God rest her soul, for she was a beacon of light. I LOVE YOU AUNTIE!

ON BEING A NOBODY

Have you ever wanted to be a SOMEBODY??? Make your momma proud, earn a new respect from your friends? Be admired by people you don't even know? Get the last laugh on all those adversaries? Are you now living with not only the dream unfulfilled, but feel you are getting too old to ever be that SOMEBODY? Are you feeling discouraged that no matter how many attempts you've made down that path to "somebody-ism" you're still a NOBODY? Well, CHEER UP, I've got some GREAT NEWS for you!.....Do you know that all those stars, celebrities, sports icons and royal highnesses cannot ever be something you now are?......that's right.....a NOBODY!!!!! No matter what they do, they cannot enjoy anonymity and the invisibility you now enjoy. They can never be what you now are. How many out there aren't even ENJOYING their state of nothingness because the feelings of non-accomplishment, unsuccessfullness, and lack of great financial wealth are in the spotlight of your self judgment.....because you are wishing you were in their positions of regality, importance, iconship? CHEER UP, my fellow nobodies.....we're doing way better than we EVER give ourselves credit for. We are all, when stripped of our positions in society and opinions of ourselves, from the exact same sea of consciousness. We are individual drops of the same sea. We are all sub-atomic bleeps of light from the same radiant beacon. Whether it's the most famous athlete or Prince in the world, or a lowly inmate sitting in a cell for a crime he did not commit. Usually our drive to be a SOMEBODY stems from our childhoods. I'm not blaming the poor over-blamed parental units here, just stating the facts. It is not what they said or did not say to us, but rather, how we took in and reacted to what was or was not said. We carry with us sub-consciously our entire adult lives, that desire to show up the bastards who bullied us in grade school, or to make proud the parent who never seemed quite reassuring enough to our growing egoic natures. The lure of that media attention never shows you what that celebrity has to face every time they leave their palace doors: that wall of photographers with lenses the size of the Golden Gate bridge, the barrage of flashes to where you can't even SEE, the continuous sound of the motor driven shutters capturing our very nose hairs. Those people can never enjoy driving down the road while listening to their favorite song and simply pick their nose. It will appear on the tabloids and everyone that ever stands on a check out line in a grocery store anywhere in the world, will catch a glimpse of you with your finger even slightly brushing that nasal cavity, and the headlines will blow that miniscule gesture out of proportion to the enth degree to sell their publication. They may even photoshop it to look like your finger is wedged all the way up! So the next time you even slightly pick that nose driving down the road, enjoy it fully! Even if you don't reel in a booger that is newsworthy, you will be engaging in a simple human act that nobody in the global spotlight can enjoy. All humor aside here, though....I highly suggest listening to Eckhart Tolle's talk on the Flowering of Human Consciousness. He speaks slowly, with many gaps between phrases at times....so if you have ADHD, know that this aspect of your personality will be challenged - but if you treat yourself to rising above that challenge, you will feel really good about who you are RIGHT NOW, in THIS MOMENT, despite your bank balance, your credit card debt, your lack of a romance or the lack you perceive yourself as having in the fulfillment department. With the striving everyone who knows me to have done in my life thus far, to be a musical star in my younger day, a beloved partner in all my adult years, a literary giant in my middle age, or an overall success in any of my artistic abilities to make my momma proud and pad my bank account with independence, know this: I HAVE GIVEN UP THE SHIP. I hereby no longer wish for any state of being that I currently am not - I have embraced being an absolute NOBODY. This is not a lack of self-esteem that I am expressing.....OH NO......but ACCEPTANCE of the fact that I am a speck in the vast ocean of consciousness that doesn't give a rat's azz about what any society or parent views as a SUCCESS. Be it known that I have no problem with not having been invited to the White House for a party in the 'home theatre' or any of the royal weddings that have occurred in my lifetime, or nominated to run for president or cast in a major motion picture, or winner of a Grammy, Oscar or Pulitzer Prize. Nope, I'm just little ol' me living in a teensie abode out in nature with no servants, valets or personal trainer. I'm not sure where the next mortgage payment will be coming from or how I'll pay for a health issue should one occur. But somehow, it's always worked and nothing has come out of the ground or swooped out of the air in an attempt to devour me. I'm still standing. And I'm continuing on from this day forth without the fears and anxieties of the end of the world or my personal demise. Putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one portion of the day at a time, I know peace---the peace of acceptance of who I am in this very moment and what my current life story is. It's just a bloody story, we all have one--but our story is not WHO we are. As one cannot judge a book by it's cover (unless you're in Barnes & Noble) one cannot judge you and you don't any longer have to judge yourself by the decisions you have made or the story of your life. Don't like it? Just re-write it. Enjoy the ride and even when the script is rough, it's only a script....it's not YOU.

SURFING IN JAPAN

It's not that I'm making fun of the catastrophic event those poor people (and animals - I mean what happened to all their pets???) endured in Japan, but with the week I'm having, I find myself wishing I was surfing off the Nuclear Coast 3/11/11.

So the latest headlines are the experts advising people around the Fuckedushima Nuke plant to not drink the tap water. Do we really need experts to advise such a thing??? Experts also picked up radiation in spinach and dairy from the farms around the Fuckedus Nuke plant. Shocking. And "no way"- the experts soothingly lied, were there going to be any radiation particles hitting the U.S., as it would be "dispersed as it traveled across the expanse of the Pacific Ocean" - well GUESS WHAT???

Yup, highway 1 south of Carmel dropped into the drink a few days ago - and they're trying to tell us it's because of the rainfall. We all know it's radiation particles settling on the pavement, weighing it down....yeah it was aggravated by rainfall~perhaps~~
but who believes these idiots called EXPERTS or OFFICIALS?

I'm having issues with this damn ITALICS button. Once you hit italics, you're STUCK with it. Please note, dearest reader following, that I only wanted the word PERHAPS to be italicized. That bold face button sometimes gives me a hard time as well. But, when I think of the suffering on the planet in so many places right now, these little buttons don't throw me off too badly.

Ok, whew. I just POUNDED on that italics button and snapped it out of having a mind of it's own, after all, who's blog is this anyway? Oh my GAWD, it snapped back into italics mode without my doing a thing! WTF-ever.

Let's just talk for a moment, shall we, about the level of intelligence of those who planned to build not one, but MORE THAN ONE nuclear power plant on the most active seismic fault line on the planet. Yes, they were made to withstand quakes - but did they really have the arrogance/stupidity (I get those two mixed up) to think no way would a tsunami follow an ass kicking earthquake????? Can we count how many nuclear power plants are built on active faults? (Hang on) Google can't answer that question, but I am sharing the below findings with y'all :

What?!! They Built the Largest Nuclear Power Plant on an Earthquake Fault Line? offbeat news” />

The Kashiwazaki-Kariwa nuclear power plant, closed since Monday following the major earthquake in the north of Japan is now known to be placed directly above a significant geological fault line. This line was thought to be inactive until it caused Monday’s earthquake, measuring 6.8 on the Richter scale.

The world’s largest nuclear power plant has been closed indefinitely, as it was designed only to cope with earthquakes of a magnitude up to 6.5. The quake has caused a number of accidents at the plant, calling into question its safety. Mildly radioactive water leaked into the sea whilst four hundred barrels of radioactive waste toppled over, 40 of them spilling their contents. There were, in total, fifty malfunctions at the plant following the earthquake.

Ok, just found THAT! Oops, the font changed, there.....back to Verdana. Then there's the nuke plant on a fault line 35 miles north of, you guessed it MANHATTAN.

LOS ANGELES – Two years before an immense coastal earthquake plunged Japan into a nuclear crisis, a geologic fault was discovered about a half-mile from a California seaside reactor – alarming regulators who say not enough has been done to gauge the threat to the nation’s most populous state. (So they're saying they built the plant and THEN checked for faults, OK, I'm down with that - so are all of us - we are all going down BECAUSE of that)

The situation of the Diablo Canyon plant is not unique. Across the country, a spider’s web of faults in the Earth’s crust raises questions about earthquakes and safety at aging nuclear plants, amplified by horrific images from Japan, where nuclear reactors were crippled by a tsunami caused by a 9-magnitude quake.

The Indian Point Energy Center, for example, lies near a fault line 35 miles north of Manhattan; on Wednesday, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo ordered a safety review at the plant. (And will they share with us the findings that none of these plants are safe???)

But none of the questions are more pressing than in quake-prone California, where about 10 powerful shakers – stronger than magnitude 7 – have hit since 1900.

At issue at Diablo Canyon is not what is known, but what is not.

Well, I hope you are all comforted, fans, friends, followers of this blog, I hope I've eased your mind. Now the terrorists can back off, because we are going to nuke ourselves. Makes you want to turn on all your lights and use your curling iron now, doesn't it? And what about all those car dealerships who's closed lots are lit up like ball fields all night? EVERY SINGLE BEACON is on lighting up those cars to generate the consumer's lust to buy, buy, buy.

When will Americans WAKE THE "F" UP and realize that those light switches, though easy to operate and annoying and difficult to switch back off when not being used, are blood on every hand ??? They have built nuke plants to satisfy the addiction to massive and unnecessary abuse of electricity. And to think all this started with a scientist flying a kite with a key in a storm. Ol' Ben is probably rolling over in his grave.

LET IT SNOW1

IT's WINTER....SNOW IS GOOD!

A good frozen snow kills the larvae of the destructive insects that 'winter over' in their little hiding places to emerge in spring and wreak havoc with your food crops, fruit trees, etc. Also those pesky mosquitoes that winter over in a mild season and on the first warm day there seem to be multitudes beyond what 'seems' normal.

Yes, our infrastructure sucks. Why they did not spend the money they had received from taxes, surcharges, etc., on underground wiring as they did in the Truckee region is purely nonsensical. To run electric/phone cables THROUGH the trees was an idea from people with no sense whatsoever. Did they think that heavy, wet snow laden branches hanging on the wiring would have no ill effects? By not spending the initial extra cost to run an underground system save them any money in the long run, when they now have crews working 24/7 and bringing in crews from out of the area to compensate for the lack of manpower locally?

On my property, for some bizarre reason, a tree trimming crew is assigned to maintain the growth around the one power pole outside my gate. These guys come every month. There is NO GROWTH around this pole, no branches looming overhead, but they still come out every month. Two poles up from this well manicured site, there are branches interwoven with the wiring. WHAT THE HELL???!!!!

Now maybe I've written here without doing research on WHY these funds seem to be mismanaged. But it takes no research to report that PG & E hassled me with phone calls, using their manpower to do so, to tell me how good their SMARTMETERS were and how it was mandatory that I have one installed. I did research on this brainchild invention to learn that these were really DUMBMETERS imposing much larger usage fees than what the consumer was really using. I did not allow them to install one, and now I learn that many who have had them installed, had their utility bills double and triple and their usage did not change, just the meter did. To dispute the outrageous bills and refuse to pay it meant the service was cut off. The consumer had no choice but to pay up and shut up.

The utility companies remind me of the government. Lots of money in, lots of reasons given to those that pay into the system why the money is not being spent logically and somehow, magically, there are those in high places running the show living with unmeasurable wealth.

Kinda brings out the revolutionary in me, but of course to take a stance and instigate change would find me at the bottom of a lake. As it is, publication of THE CHE DIARIES had a CIA dude trailing me who probably still is. This, I find rather humorous and sad simultaneously, because if the government can tail a grandmother of almost five who writes one little, harmless book and Osama and the pirates are still running wild, then I'd say, there's a misappropriation of the resources that WE PAY FOR.

But all off-the-track-of-winter snow verbiage aside, enjoy winter despite the inconvenience of no power - our family was out of power for 4 days and I melted snow to flush my toilet. It's not global warming (this is another invented farce) it's WINTER! Yes, they killed the Gulf, and this will effect climate as has many of the other crimes of greed has altered the natural balance, but don't buy into the distraction of GLOBAL WARMING, as that's a smokescreen, or in winter terms, a WHITE OUT, so we don't pay attention to the sinister shit that's going on that our tax dollars are paying for that we don't know about and never will.

Be it known, that I'm not opposed to taxes to pay for what is needed to run countries. There WAS enough money to have good, solid infrastructures, educated people, programs for the less fortunate and elderly and enough HEALTHY food so nobody goes hungry. Instead, we have what we are living with today, child molesters and murderers with health care, hard working Americans with NO health care, mass produced food with no nutrients, multitudes of uneducated, impoverished people and elders on so many prescription drugs that they are hallucinating, crumbling infrastructure and the military being mis-used in places we don't need to be.....and the list goes on.

Do love the aspects of winter that are the signature of the season and prepare for the inconvenience our crumbling infrastructure offers so you can still flush your toilets, use your candles and lanterns SAFELY so you don't burn your house down and maybe, we'll have less destructive pests this spring in our gardens and orchards.