Amazing Gayatri Chant by Ave Guevara

Twenty Eight Days

TWENTY EIGHT DAYS. An experiment I am proposing to Mr. Smith, my creative partner.

The video will run for 28 days in my life, capturing a major shift that I sense is in my immediate 'future'. The holidays are upon us, which in and of itself instigates shifts and upheavals in many human lives on the emotional and pain-body fronts. The ending of the current year and the promise of the new one is also a potent set of circumstances in the human life cycle for huge shifts and emotional turmoil, as we review where we've been and map out where we think we would like to go.

Another wintry storm is upon us, following the first of the series that knocked down trees and broke their branches both on my property and all over town. I was in sunny, warm Houston during that first cold and destructive storm. A huge tree fell across our driveway taking three others with it. My son in law had some intense chain-sawing to clear the way....ah, life in the country! The huge old oak that arches way above my bedroom which is a yurt gives me the feeling of playing Russian Roulette each night that I go to sleep in there. As this storm has taken down and broken the limbs off small, healthy and younger trees, this big old oak is now posing a red-alert threat. Whatever the price to have it taken out will be cheaper than the cost of the tree taking me out.

Thanksgiving successfully behind us, Christmas looming in front. But what is more on my plate than either a turkey dinner or holiday gift giving is the personal shift I am experiencing regarding my own personal pain body and the role of motherhood, grandmotherhood and mother-in-law-hood. I realize I love walking the streets of other countries and places is because I do not identify or am identified with any of these roles. I embraced motherhood and gave it my all in my youth, as my values were to bestow upon the people that came to me in the form of my children a healthy set of life tools to take them through their course in balanced ways. To give them no belief system except an open mind and realization of their own power to create the lives they envision. To have them trust in the Source of all Creation, and yes, I called it GOD in those days, and sometimes still do.

As a single mom, this took almost all of me. It was a job worth doing well and I have the peace of mind that I pulled that off. However, I AM DONE. I have experienced joy from the honorary place of Grand-Mother, and now, even that role is changing for me. It is seriously time for ME. I am not the typical grandparent who lives to babysit and goes to goo over cute antics. Yes children are cute, but cuteness can be a huge distraction to staying on course with the consistency necessary to raise a child who has self discipline, respect for others and a healthy regard for boundaries. Children are NOT cute who do not have these attributes imparted to them.

To any I may sound 'old fashioned' to, hear this: well mannered children are not old fashioned, even though I witness the majority of children exercising strong wills with hefty doses of disrespect toward their parents and other adults. Being as caught up in the multiple forms of networking media that I am witnessing with the parents, development of GOOD CHARACTER seems to be left in the dust, deemed as out of style and too troublesome for parents to stay consistent with. Of course I witnessed this same thing when I was a parent of young children. It takes more than most people are willing to give to their children in the form of consistent guidance. The little things push and push and push some more and yes, they all drive their parents crazy.....but being aware of this cycle is the first step in dealing effectively with it. The second step in dealing effectively with it is knowing that the long term effects of the adult you will produce from that child rearing lasts way longer than their cute little childhoods.

I am thankful to have successfully completed Parenting 101-1001. I am successfully saying good-bye to the role of caregiver and mother of others and beginning to give myself that care and nurturing. It is TIME FOR ME. I am not looking for a boyfriend to love me, because I will spend that energy loving myself. There are enough people that love me in all kinds of ways, and I don't feel the need to look for or try to attract THE ONE. The only ONE is the Source of All Creation, of which we each are a tiny expression of. Life is inherently good, and focusing on that GOOD will only bring more good things, experiences and creation of a joyous life.