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For some magical reason, the fast is not only coming naturally, but the addiction I thought I had to reading news media has evaporated with the royal marriage. An 'instant shift' has occurred. Not only do I not want to read one item regarding the event, but there's nothing else I want to read either. When that news page comes up when I turn on my computer, I glaze over and just head for the email sign in 'button'. Has anyone else felt their life to be pathetic and small lately? With the inflation of the gigantically global self importance royal balloon, a perception of smallness and insignificance of a nobody's life lived seems to be a side effect for me, who viewed it all from the shadow of the thing. Anyone else out there experience this? I could do more to help the world if I didn't have to do my own feeding and dishes, clean my own household, do my own laundry and paperwork, earn a little living to pay all the trivial expenses required to run a nobody's life or squeeze my own toothpaste onto my own toothbrush. There would be a lot of time to help others in some way, or fill a museum with my artwork, bookstores with my literary works. But, when one thinks about it, each person's existence is sort of miraculous when considering our ancestry (although modern society has no interest in their ancestors)~~if not for the amorous actions of people long ago who we have no idea existed, made love at a certain time to create the next in the lineage who would ultimately be amorous with someone in another lineage to create our parental units, we would not be here. And then think of all daddy's sperm swimming up momma's tube, just the right ONE that was the spark of US is the one that penetrated that egg follicle that ripened at just the right time when the parents were not fighting but "in the mood" for love. Then all those cells divided to make the vehicle in which the spark of our divine nature found from somewhere on some other dimension of existence and then zeroed in, occupied and voile'~~ here we are! Nope, there's nothing insignificant about THAT! Each one of us is a miracle, warts 'n all!
p.s.... I don't have warts
AND WHAT A SHOW IT WAS ! When Diana's two princes appeared in their Rolls and rode to the Abbey, I did well with emotion for their mother. The site of them made me so proud for her. There's a maternal web that links all mothers and we can feel clearly what others in "THE MOTHERHOOD" experience, whether they are on the other side of the veil or still EARTHBOUND.
Douglas & I shared a royal evening. I'd been painting a window absolutely all day, with Cheyana in tow. She was incredibly patient and very well behaved, tethered to a post next to me. I would pet her and love on her throughout the day.
While Douglas napped in preparation for the televised viewing in the wee hours, I baked lemon scones at my domicile and tried to nap but could not. I was restless with the activities going on in the Greenwich Mean Time Zone, wrote the previous blog and gathered what I would take to Douglas' for the private party: scones, coffee, breve, the necessities of course. I indulged in a coffee at 11:30 p.m. as I prepared to go over. It was quite wicked drinking my creamy caffeinated brew at such an hour!
We watched the POMP and had a jolly good time. I wore the fascinator I made that is pictured here, white pajamas and my flowing white spa-robe from Italy, a delicious garment that I feel rather like a duchess when wearing.
It's 10 a.m. on Friday, and I am DEAD! Viewed their "Kiss" from my house, as Doug didn't stay up for that. It was rather anti-climactic after the amazing ceremony that moved us both deeply.
Truly, it made me wish to be married if indeed marriage is about the words the Archbishop of Canterbury spoke so eloquently of it being. I had a sense that I missed out....but I did not give into that yearning for long, as that is pure pain-body lingo and I didn't want to mar the beautiful effect those words and prayers had on me~~that being I was filled with hope, inspiration and the sense that something very good was embracing me and guiding me and supporting me.
A most powerful moment was when all in attendance said The Lord's Prayer, of which I of course said also. To think so many were saying that prayer aloud all over the globe simultaneously was very, very powerful and moving.
I missed Diana, but felt her there of course. Presence lives on long after the body is no longer attached to it. My lemon scones came out perfectly!
This afternoon while painting the window at the dog spa, I felt a surge of terror from the other side of the lake, as they refer to Europe. The time was 4 p.m. or thereabouts, when I felt the energy of the late Princess as her son William was 'speaking' with her, saying "I know how you felt like a lamb to the slaughter on the eve of your wedding, Mum." I felt Diana's sense of abhorrence at the spectacle they are using her son for, and the danger to which they are exposing him despite the grand security efforts. She is indeed concerned at the media frenzy surrounding their upcoming nuptials. No doubt, Wils and Harry are experiencing Post Traumatic Stress moments as the last gathering of this magnitude was their mother's funeral. Of course it will be masked with their radiant smiles.
Rest assured the spirit of the Princess will be there, hovering over her sons and the bride with as much protection as she can muster.
The Firm wanted to heal their flailing reputation and interject a BOOST, and who better to use than Diana's son and his Princess Bride. Wils is indeed leery of the crowd, disgusted with the paparazzi for whom he must be all smiles, knowing it is partly this frenzied media lust that was the cause of his mother's tragic death. The Global Demonic Appetite for young royal blood and it's long time void after the death of Diana is rearing it's ugly head in full force. This engagement cracked the door wide and it's going to be flung completely open in just a few short hours, beginning the next relentless round of tracking their every move and filling the publications with grainy images of stolen shots. I will personally boycott every single publication with their photos on the cover.
I've had a sinking feeling for a few months of this spectacle being used as a platform for violence and have indeed felt the concern of a mother for her children~her passing does not mean she is not present indeed~the veil of the dimension between she and her sons is quite thin.
May this spectacle go off without damaging Diana's precious sons in any way!
It's the COUNT DOWN to two big events: The Royal Wedding and Ave's NEWS FAST. That's right folks.....my addiction to on-line news is going COLD TURKEY.
With a cup of steaming coffee topped with frothed breve flavored with organic vanilla, I set myself down to the trusty Mac and peruse the news of the world several times per day...one would think I have a huge financial portfolio who's balances change with whatever activities occur in the course of the day all over the globe - but NO.....it's a simple addiction. One I intend to not only BREAK, but blog about the withdrawl.
What will replace this time spent viewing news? I will WRITE~DRAW~PAINT~PUBLISH~PHOTOGRAPH~PHOTOSHOP the Photographs~and maybe even EXERCISE! The sky is not the limit with the option of training to be an astronaut. "Houston, we could have a problem!"
It will be an interesting study to see exactly what transpires in my life, and to take some of the pressure off the new ROYAL COUPLE, Wils and Kate, I will make this process public for global consumption. Maybe the tabloids and paparazzi will re-focus onto my nothingness and give their everythingness a break. It could be for an interesting read - moreso than the overdone celebrity lifestyles of over consumption, rehabilitation, criminal activities, etcetera....
My fast begins after the Royal Wedding......why???.....well, because that will be the last hurrah of news addiction substance that I will not deny myself the pleasure of reading about. " With so much suffering on the planet," you say, "why would anyone want to read about something as shallow, decadent, tax-payer wasting and irrelevant as a ROYAL WEDDING?" The answer is a simple question: how will my saturating myself with the sufferings of the world assist in my being a sorely needed bright spot of consciousness? I am sensitive enough to the global and local suffering of people, plants and animals without reading about only that also! Of course I read about that aspect of our media lies - and it does not help my consciousness lighten up.
As an empath and intuitive, I tell you this: I had a dream of a tornado and then the tornado epidemic began the next day. The one in my dream looking exactly like the one they caught on film. And no, all tornadoes do not look alike. The visual of it in my dream is still vivid. I experienced a very intense two day seismic headache and then the Japanese quake and tsunami happened. These are only two on a very unnerving list of how I am effected without viewing any news.
Does anyone out there get seismic headaches? I have for years. I first noticed it after my car crash in 97.... but that's when I first put together that a certain type of headache lasting two to four days always happened before a huge seismic event that effected people. The EFFECTS PEOPLE is the key.....as we all know, seismic activity is constant and daily there are many quakes.....the Chilean quake and Indonesian quakes also were preceded by my experiencing a certain kind of very painful, sharp and intense headache unlike migraine or ones caused by tension.
Well, it's time for my second cup of the steaming nectar and to pay attention to my dawg before the day commences. There will be daily blogs as I begin the news fast starting either May 1st or Cinco de Mayo. I haven't decided which date is the best to begin.....my little news addict votes for el cinco, as that will give her just a few extra days of newsing around. But it's definitely time to start making my OWN news, and THIS is going to be more fun than a barrel of royals!
ANOTHER DAY OF RAINY-NESS. Yesterday as it was literally pouring, the sun peeped out long enough to give me a quick view of a fleeting rainbow. It was very wide, almost discernible on the hilltop line, and faded within seconds. It appeared to end in the meadow outside my gate, which made me actually see "the end of the rainbow". There was not a visible pot of gold, however.
No complaints from me over this extended moisture, except that it may well be charged with radioactive particles from the infamous Japanese disaster, as the dryness of summer will come soon enough. Besides, the pelting of raindrops upon the rooftop of my yurt sound wonderful, as long as the soggy ground does not loosen the roots of the giant oak which looms high above this canvas concoction that is my bedroom.
That's all I have to say about this little subject. It's ROYAL WEDDING week, and that will be another literary ditty altogether.
This very moment, I just received an email from my cousin telling me his mother, my beloved auntie died in her sleep APRIL 9th at 1:23 p.m.
It is 9:30 p.m. and I sit here alone with this news. At our age when an auntie passes, it would seem like a natural part of life, which death is.....but....in the moments that I write this, it is my only avenue of expression to HONOR THIS AMAZING WOMAN who was so elegant, so gracious, always so kind to me, always believed in me.
I feel shell shocked. There is no one to call. There is no one beside me to hold me as the waves of grief just now begin to wash over me. This woman knew me all my life. This woman loved me all my life. I AM SO SAD!
When she fell some months ago and was hospitalized, then sent home to recover at the home of her son, my cousin, I didn't send her the autographed book I wrote that she was anxious to read. I didn't send her a card wishing her a speedy recovery. I didn't call her and tell her how much I loved her. I just assumed she would always be okay. What an ignorant assumption of pure selfishness! YES....I'm beating myself up for not telling the Auntie that loved me the most for the longest that I LOVE HER, that I was thinking about her. Now, she is gone. Now her son is the only survivor from that family that I saw every weekend for dinner throughout my childhood. GONE. And I have learned about her passing a week after her journey....my cousin too lost in grief to be able to even tell me. What to do with this?
DON'T WAIT TO TELL YOUR LOVED ONES THAT YOU LOVE THEM. I've always read that, and now I'm living the painful result of not telling my BELOVED AUNTIE DOROTHY how much I love her. God rest her soul, for she was a beacon of light. I LOVE YOU AUNTIE!
