This very moment, I just received an email from my cousin telling me his mother, my beloved auntie died in her sleep APRIL 9th at 1:23 p.m.
It is 9:30 p.m. and I sit here alone with this news. At our age when an auntie passes, it would seem like a natural part of life, which death is.....but....in the moments that I write this, it is my only avenue of expression to HONOR THIS AMAZING WOMAN who was so elegant, so gracious, always so kind to me, always believed in me.
I feel shell shocked. There is no one to call. There is no one beside me to hold me as the waves of grief just now begin to wash over me. This woman knew me all my life. This woman loved me all my life. I AM SO SAD!
When she fell some months ago and was hospitalized, then sent home to recover at the home of her son, my cousin, I didn't send her the autographed book I wrote that she was anxious to read. I didn't send her a card wishing her a speedy recovery. I didn't call her and tell her how much I loved her. I just assumed she would always be okay. What an ignorant assumption of pure selfishness! YES....I'm beating myself up for not telling the Auntie that loved me the most for the longest that I LOVE HER, that I was thinking about her. Now, she is gone. Now her son is the only survivor from that family that I saw every weekend for dinner throughout my childhood. GONE. And I have learned about her passing a week after her journey....my cousin too lost in grief to be able to even tell me. What to do with this?
DON'T WAIT TO TELL YOUR LOVED ONES THAT YOU LOVE THEM. I've always read that, and now I'm living the painful result of not telling my BELOVED AUNTIE DOROTHY how much I love her. God rest her soul, for she was a beacon of light. I LOVE YOU AUNTIE!
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