Moon-day Reflections

Today I learned of the murder of a friend, mentor and lovely individual. It was shocking, as although I haven't seen him in awhile, I had been talking about what he taught me to a new friend all during this week. I had reconnected with his essence during this process, and just now learned he died last March. (talk about being the last to know!)

Huge shifts are beckoning and even downright imposing upon me. I sense the pressure of it's coming, feel it's hot breath that threatens to scare the shit out of me. The great unknown can be exciting or scary, depending what the unknown is about. I'm facing a couple of huge ones this week. Both will change my life drastically and call for me to buck up, 'toughen up' (as another friend now gone would say) and stay clear.

Today I feel broken. I'm tired of my heart having been broken 6 years ago and having had the pieces be stepped on since as I work to mend them. I'm not having much success.
My fabulous UMPH that I've always had in my younger day, the very thing that attracted my last love to me all those years ago, seems to have abandoned me no matter what I do or how I breath and work with various energies to just resonate with it for long enough to join "life" again.

We all feel this from time to time, but for me, today is a day of lamenting....loss. It is, after all, one of those illusory tools we've been given on this side of the veil, among many, to soften and grow. OM NAMAH SHIVAYA ~ Hare Krshna ~ Hare Rama

THIS MADE ME CRY

Just look at the smile on that dad's face. He's holding one of his two very young sons. A man that had a spirit of light, one can tell just by this article's information and quotes on what this man's foundation was about. Now he's dead. The tragedy comes to his boys who have lost the most rare thing on this planet: a parent that truly cares about his child. A father that was teaching by living it, good solid values and optimism of spirit in the face of societal darkness. Truly, this article has made me cry.

When I think about how both my daughters' children adore their fathers, to think of having them taken from them makes this story ever the more poignant for me. My daughters never got to know their fathers, because both of them thought their own lives were more important, and both abandoned their daughters when they were babies, one even before she was born. That is why stories like this I must share.

Four days before he died, Dan Wheldon sat next to me on a couch reflecting on a year in which he started out unemployed, won the Indianapolis 500, then went back to the unemployment line to look for a job. I expected a bittersweet tone. Instead I got classic Dan Wheldon, ever the grounded optimist.

Dan Wheldon celebrates with his two-year-old son, Sebastian Daniel Wheldon, after winning the Indianapolis 500 on May 29, 2011.
(AP)

Wheldon’s career

Dan Wheldon won the Indianapolis 500 in 2005 and 2011.

Year	Starts	Wins	Poles	Top 5	Top 10
2011	2	1	0	1	1
2010	17	0	0	4	10
2009	17	0	0	3	9
2008	17	2	0	10	12
2007	17	2	1	6	11
2006	14	2	2	9	12
2005	17	6	0	12	15
2004	16	3	2	12	13
2003	14	0	0	5	9
2002	2	0	0	0	1
Total:	133	16	5	62	93

Source: Indycar.com

“It’s been incredibly enjoyable,” he said with complete sincerity. “My wife gave birth to our second son, Oliver, and I was able to enjoy spending time with them because I didn’t have a ride.”

Wheldon died Sunday in a violent 15-car wreck at the IndyCar season finale at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. The native of Great Britain was 33 years old. He’ll be remembered as much for his engaging personality off the track as his dominating skills on it.

Wheldon was airlifted to a local hospital and IndyCar officials halted the race for more than two hours. When word spread that Wheldon had died, drivers decided not to race, returning to their cars only for a five-lap tribute.

“There are no words for today,” Danica Patrick said via Twitter. “Myself and so many others are devastated.”

Perhaps nothing explained Wheldon better than his ability to find peace and perspective in the midst of such an inexplicable season. Here was an out-of-work driver who couldn’t land a decent job in a series in which he was a champion, in which he’d won the sport’s signature event, the Indianapolis 500. It doesn’t sound fair because it’s not, but that’s how it works sometimes in auto racing, where sponsor dollars trump talent.

Wheldon got a ride in the Indy 500 only because friend and team owner Bryan Herta was able to put together a competitive deal. Still, no one gave Wheldon a shot to win it until he actually did. The next day, he was unemployed again.

But not bitter.

He used the time off as an opportunity to promote the sport that wouldn’t give him a full-time job. When he won the Indy 500 back in 2005, he hit up David Letterman, did a few other promotional events, then went back to racing the next weekend. After this year’s win, with no job, he made appearance after appearance after appearance. He worked television broadcasts of IndyCar events, became an ambassador for Indianapolis Motor Speedway and served as the official test driver for the new race car the series will unveil next season.

He was happy, content, smiling like he was in love.

“It’s been a crazy year,” he said, “but really, really enjoyable.”

The tragic irony is Wheldon was only racing Sunday because of a promotion. Earlier this year as a way to bring attention to the fledgling series, CEO Randy Bernard put up a $5 million award to any non-series regular who could win the finale. As a non-regular, Wheldon was eligible.

One condition was that he start at the back of the 34-car field, a huge deficit to overcome, but one Wheldon said could be done in the 200-lap race. Just 12 laps in, two cars touched in front of him, setting off a horrific chain reaction of events that Patrick described as straight out of a movie.

Wheldon, having moved up some 10 spots already, couldn’t slow in time. His car launched over the back of one in front of him, turned in midair and slammed into the catch fence. Rescue workers were quick to the scene, but neither they nor doctors at a local hospital could save him.

“IndyCar is sad to announce that Dan Wheldon passed away from unsurvivable injuries,” Bernard announced at a press conference. “Our thoughts and prayers are with Dan and his family.”

[Photos: IndyCar driver Dan Wheldon dies in fiery crash]

Wheldon came from Emberton, a small village in southern England where he was tearing up go-kart tracks at age four. In 1999, at age 21, he came to the United States and eventually wound up in IndyCar. With powerhouse Andretti Green Racing, he won nine races as well as the 2005 IndyCar championship. That same year, Wheldon won the Indianapolis 500, handing team owner Michael Andretti the Brickyard win he never got as a driver.

Most recently Wheldon drove for Panther Racing. At the end of the 2010 season, Panther signed rookie J.R. Hildebrand to replace him, leaving Wheldon without a job.

Refusing to take a mediocre ride that could threaten the integrity of his career, Wheldon opted to sit out the season. Desperate to enter this year’s Indianapolis 500, Wheldon called Bryan Herta for advice on finding a good ride for the 500. Herta responded, “Would you consider driving for me?”

Wheldon never led the race until he came around the final turn of the final lap. But when the leader wrecked on the final turn, Wheldon took the lead and the win – his second at the Brickyard. The driver he passed for the victory? Hildebrand.

The car of Indy Car series driver Dan Wheldon (second car from left) catches fire as Wheldon and Will Power (12) crash into the wall at Las Vegas.
(US Presswire)

Last Wednesday, Wheldon told me he was close to signing a full-time deal for 2012.

“I don’t need to drive for financial gain,” he said. “I could retire and be OK. There are a lot of people in way worse situations than me right now.”

Sunday morning, Wheldon reportedly had agreed to terms to return to the Andretti stable where he would replace the departing Patrick.

Hours later he was gone, leaving a legacy of racing and life behind.

POURING RAIN, Emptiness Within

The rain is pouring down upon the thirsty earth. Pouring down upon my yurt-bedroom and it will be hard to sleep, as it is so loud.

I am full of emotion tonight. Emoting does promote a softening as when one feels like one is 'coming apart at the seams'. It's not a bad thing, just a part of the life process, the expansion of the soul. The softening of those edges that cut into us.

I do tonight feel utterly alone. This is logically assimilated in my mind that I am merely experiencing a perception only of separation from That Which Created All. This logical feedback does not comfort. But I am not seeking comfort right now. I am simply feeling my state of aloneness fully. Crying does cleanse and release. A primal scream sort of noise really was necessary in order for me not to explode with the pending softening that simply had no choice but to follow. It's those rare times when one needs to scream that it's really convenient to be surrounded by the forest. It's simply the order of things. Sometimes it's hard to look at life as a gift, even when the blessings are cute little brand new ginger babies that inspire awe, and the big brother who is yet a little boy who woke me in the mornings so we could brush our teeth together.

Where is my life? I am in a sacred space. The journey sometimes really is an ass kicker.

A Tibetan Buddhist Way to Handle Terrorism & Disasters

"One brick won't build a house. But brick by brick, a house will get built. So, one prayer, or the prayers of one person will not change the whole world. But if we meditate or say prayers, we will be able to contribute in healing and rebuilding lives. So we must get involved in contributing little by little by doing meditations and prayers. That is what we can and must do."

"Think about those terrible images, painful feelings and frightening stories of the morning of September 11th. Let them shake our bodies up and wake up our minds with a powerful feeling of sadness and pain.
Then let the power of sadness turn into strong thoughts and feelings of love and compassion, into a wish of wanting to save all from their sufferings from the bottom of your heart (without letting yourself feel hatred or anger towards the perpetrators).
Then let the power of that love emanate a strong energy of devotion, devotion to the Blessed One(s), -- the body of wisdom, love and power -- who is/are the embodiment of all the enlightened ones and the true nature and pure quality of the universe as it is.

Then turn the power of your devotion into the energy of prayers, the all-prevailing sound of calling for healing blessings, from the bottom of your heart.
Then think that the blessings of the Blessed One, love and peace are emanating from the Blessed One in the form of beams of rainbow light, light of peace and joy.
Then the blessing lights touch the bodies of all -- those who have died, those who are suffering and the whole universe.

By the mere touch of the blessing light, think and feel that all fear, confusion and suffering are pacified, like darkness by sunlight. All are transformed into bodies of blessing light. All are filled with the feelings of peace, joy and strength.
Finally, feel the all-pervading peace and let our mind and the minds of all (especially those who are suffering) melt as one. Rest in that feeling -- the awareness of oneness in peace -- over and over again. The nature of all is one, the awareness of the eternal peace."

STOP KILLING ANIMALS & THE PEOPLE WHO SAVE THEM!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeXdv-uPaw&feature=youtu.be

This is a MUST SEE. Although it may haunt you, it did me, although it may disturb you, it did me, you still must expose yourself to this so that you may include all these horrors both the earth and her innocent animals endure in your TONGLEN practice. If you don't know what TONGLEN practice is, read this link:
http://www.khandro.net/practice_send_receive.htm

The earth needs us to do this for her, it is the only thing we CAN do. We will be killed like other saviors of the earth are killed if we take the role of activist - they silence those that do in equally horrible ways as they kill innocent animals for money, out of greed. We cannot help the earth if we are dead. We must all take a stand, and it must be done safely and effectively - we cannot help if they kill us as they have killed our brothers and sisters who have shown the courage to step up and take ACTION.

To those that are frustrated and ask, "WHAT CAN I DO?????" We can practice tonglen. After viewing this video, all I could do was feel frustrated that if I took a stand, I too would be killed. TONGLEN practice is something we can all start to do. But do it gently, as if you are as sensitive a being as I am, you may feel energetically "off" if you do the practice for too long. It IS intense, but so is what you will be doing, but it won't KILL you, and you can energetically ease some of the suffering. Please join me in doing TONGLEN practice each and every day, even if only for five or ten minutes. You WILL be making a difference.

NAMASTE~

SEISMIC HEADACHES

THEY ARE REAL. I have gotten seismic headaches before a major earthquake for years now. As I write this, I have one. The symptom is, it wakes me up before dawn and is raging, or builds to raging over two to three days. The longer the headache, the worse the devastation from the quake. Before the Japanese quake, I had a killer one for three days, and they don't respond to any form of medication for relief, and only subside when the quake occurs.

I am quite nervous because yesterday I woke up with one, and although it wasn't a raging, killer headache, it has become one today, waking me at 2 a.m. Unfortunately, they are never wrong. I haven't had them over this past week during all the quaking going on, because there was no human devastation, but this one is nerve wracking, because somewhere, soon, it's going to hit. This is DAY 2, I've medicated twice and it's done nothing but getting worse.

All my friends in quake prone areas, put together your survival kits and have a plan. I've never made it this public before, but the reliability of these headaches has been 100%....the outcome of my headache going away only comes when there is a tragic outcome for many.

AND THE POINT IS.....?

Truly the question of why we are here is relevant. It has been worth the ponder, and continues being worthy of our ponderance because truly, what is the fucking point???

The potty training of toddlers highlights the fact that human excrement and bodily fluids are truly repulsive. Cute as little children may (or may not) be, their bodily functions disgust me. The messes they make with their food, I find enormously disagreeable. Their drool, snot & shit are things one has to have close contact with when caring for them.

When my girls were babies, did I truly not reel from the grossness of it all because they came from ME??? I do remember marveling that my breast fed infant's shit did not stink - that is until around the age of about five months - then something shifted and my olfactory nerve was processing the repulsive smell of human shit.
Dog shit & cat shit are equally gross. Bear shit and the shit (or scat) of wild animals is not. Why the fuck is that? I came across a giant deposit of fresh bear shit and not one molecule of aroma made it to my nose. If that were dog shit I would have been overcome.

And all this repulsive residue of the human creation has served only to pollute our oceans as we mindlessly and selfishly rid ourselves of it and impose it on the creatures of the sea. Now you see/smell it - now you DON'T.

It brings to my attention the words of the opening paragraph of this entry - WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE, ANYWAY? We have toxic thoughts, negative emotions, judgmental attitudes and smelly bodies. Oh, there are the fleeting moments of pleasure when we are in the company of something or someone we love. But sometimes that love carries a heavy toll.....the misery of attachment and all it's side-effects.

Are we truly here to propel our spiritual nature toward the alleged perfection from whence we came? Again - FUCKING WHY????? If we came from perfection, then why didn't we just stay there? Now we have to toil with the impositions of a societal creation that truly seems pointless. I mean, making money, paying bills, finding peace within while we labor with these issues? Finding our passion, living our passion, making a living with our passion ~ or not ~ and being miserable & unfulfilled while we toil with JOBS that don't resonate with our passion because people told us we had to ~ and we believed them!!!

No one has come up with an answer. The one offering wisdom and guidance was nailed to a cross, so why do these people think this entity will grace us with a second coming???? If an enlightened 'savior' did return to this Godforsaken place (pun intended) - they'd put him or her on medication or in a psyche ward in lieu of that cross.

I for one am tired of the whole game of everything ~ the drive to BE someone ~ accomplish someTHING ~ attain anyTHING and maintain a healthy detachment to it all. It all truly comes up as POINTLESS ~ and I truly have been pondering, introspecting and searching outside & more importantly INSIDE for decades ~ and it still comes up POINTFUCKINGLESS!

My precious little grandson is due any day to arrive onto this stink ball we've turned this planet into. He has come from perfection, only to be steeped into the cesspool of humanity with all the trimmings.....cellular memories that comes with a physical body, memories that aren't even HIS, but that of an ancestor ~ the pain of being a baby - a digestive system firing up with all it's pangs and pains and the resultant shitting in one's pants and spitting up sour milk. Getting teeth ~ losing teeth ~ getting MORE teeth! Having to undergo the barrage of bullshit the newly arrived are subjected to by the medical profession - pokes with needles, testing for this & that, the painful ritual of circumcision. Now THERE'S one I don't grok - surgically removing something that was placed there for SOME reason we stinky humans don't understand, so we WHACK it off for no other reason than the fact that it was done by others in the belief that a little less stink will be the result.....a few less genital germs will breed.

And, speaking of breeding - there is this insatiable drive ignited and maintained to breed - and if not to result in furthering the species, to only give us this thing called orgasms, or getting off. It's different for each person and none of us seem to match up favorably with another with our drives or lack of drive. This wreaks havoc when we couple up and try, like birds, to mate for life. This chemical in our system, or assortment of chemicals, drives us to make really bad decisions in your younger years (I can speak for myself on this account) thereby subjecting ourselves to further misery, emotionally and/or financially speaking. We breed with others that are not in our best interest - or are they??? Because after all, it's the misery we create for ourselves that promote this allegedly illusive and highly desired state of what is called ENLIGHTENMENT. One can attain this state by finding their center when the pendulum swings toward happiness and away from misery or away from happiness and toward misery.....either way, it's a roller coaster ride that we don't even realize we are on for several decades, if ever.

I for one am stuck in a very uncomfortable middle. I realize that what I don't like in others is what I don't like in myself (now THERE'S a fun mirror to look in!) ~ there's nothing material I am striving for and working toward so that I may possess it and show it off to others or simply enjoy it for myself ~ I seek not love in another human being, because GOD only knows, that love, IF found, comes with conditions I must live up to and fulfillment I must provide for whoever this other one may be that I think I love and am deluded into thinking loves me-or else a very painful parting ensues. I've lived through this one too many times to continue living with this illusion and striving to be part of it.

I may be perceived as cynical or bitter just because I've been around the block so many times that I don't see the point in going around that same block one more time. I'm not depressed or on medication to even things out, but that does remind me - having one's hormones in a jar in the refrigerator does at least make for one not being enslaved by their own hormone production gone awry.

So where do we go from here? Someone DO tell... what IS the fucking point?

Yes, We have No Plums (or is that bananas?)

There are no plums on any of the trees that supplied my breakfast all of last summer.
The snow landed heavily on the blossoms, and luckily I photographed this beautiful site.....because it resulted in no fruit.

Each morning I walk past the trees, whereas last summer I would stand beneath them with my dawg and engorge myself gratefully on these succulent spheres of purple juiciness chock full of nutrients, this year I just walk past them without having tasted one this entire season.

Yup, these times, they are a'changin'.

LOVE IN THE CENTER

The puppet strings have been severed and the life force within me has been liberated from the ever-swinging pendulum of our dualistic nature of mind this very evening.

I FEEL SO FREE and OVERFLOWING WITH LOVE and SOFTNESS.

Further details will follow, but I wanted to share ever so briefly while I am freshly immersed in this wonderful place that I have been passionately seeking for this entire lifetime, and no doubt lifetimes prior to this one.

~BLESSINGS to all who read this, and to all beings everywhere~

NETFLIX NO MORE! I'M WRITING A BOOK!

THIS IS IT....I'm going to put my neflix account on hold for 6 months to immerse myself in photography, my art/music & bringing the next book into reality. It's time. Movies have been great for the mind and relaxation systems...the great TUNE OUT. They've been inspiring, watching the documentaries on the Impressionists, and a host of other masters in all sorts of genres, hence being a great TUNE IN.

Then there's pure entertainment of the finest sort: The Tudors series. I could watch 8 episodes in an evening, getting to sleep really late. Such a sensuous presentation! Many amazingly handsome manly men who were also ruthless and total candy in appearance, demeanor and voice. Mmmmmmmmm.

The billing cycle begins July 5th, so I'm going to have my last hurrahh this weekend and it will be a fling gone by, a total indulgence, sort of like double fudge chocolate ice cream.

It's NOSE to grinding stone - as in the time of writing DIARIES. "People - bring me prepared meals, plates of fine cheeses and fresh fruit" ~ the campaign is on: "Feed the Author"...... that's the list of names in author's Acknowledgments: "I could never have written this book if so and so hadn't fed me...." It's frequently a trusty spouse at the end of the list, the author gushing forth, "and finally, last but not least, I could NEVER have done this work without the undying love and support of my beloved husband, Mr. Smith!" My sometimes lonely self with the history of non supportive relationships tries not to GAG when I read that one line. A line I will not put in my book.....but you people that FEED me....you KNOW who you are! And it's not just food, it's that support and encouragement that keeps me going when I want to take valium for breakfast to be able to sit at the computer for endless hours and not go up the wall from the creative flow taking me and my world on a swift current.


This time around, I will have a dog to walk and tend to, so I will be very grounded. And although my 'invisible friend' who was the hot topic in DIARIES is behind this decision and will be beside me in his own way, he is not the one I'm writing about, so it's more about humor rather than the heaviness of discovering myself in a multi-dimensional relationship. Whew! Glad this book is going to be FUNNY!

Man Doesn't Seem To Learn

Man simply does not see beyond the shortsightedness of his greed and desires to satisfy the insatiable appetite. It does not even matter to a human steeped in greed to consider for one brief moment, the long term consequences of his short term priorities.

ONGOING MASSACRE OF THE ALMOST EXTINCT TORTOISE

27 June 2011 Last updated at 22:34 ET

Madagascar's 'tortoise mafia' on the attack

By Hannah McNeish BBC News, Madagascar

Madagascar's tortoises sell for thousands of dollars on the black market

Continue reading the main story

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Madagascar's poachers, known in conservation circles as "the tortoise mafia", are increasingly hunting down the Indian Ocean island's reptiles, threatening them with extinction.

The tortoise mafia, who allegedly include corrupt government officials and smuggling syndicates, are satisfying a growing demand locally for tortoise meat and abroad for exotic pets and tortoise shells used in aphrodisiacs.

"Everybody is eating them and everybody is trafficking them and as soon as people are brought to trial, there are mafia organisations who help to get them out," says the head of Madagascar's Alliance of Conservation Groups, Ndranto Razakamanarina.

Another conservationist, Tsilavo Rafeliarisoa, says two poachers were caught last year in southern Madagascar with 50 tortoises.

This was a small breakthrough in efforts to protect the island's endangered tortoises, which include the Ploughshare, Spider, Radiated and Flat-tailed species.

Often, poachers roam villages in groups of up to 100, picking up thousands of tortoises over several weeks.

Guns and machetes

They are heavily armed, fending off attempts to stop them.

"When a gang of poachers with guns and machetes come and take tortoises, the villagers are defenceless," Mr Rafeliarisoa says.

Tortoise meat is a favourite dish on the island

He says with food prices rising, more people are eating tortoise meat.

It has become a favourite snack in southern towns such as Tsiombe and Beloka, even among government officials who ought to be at the forefront of campaigns to save the reptiles from extinction.

"They say: 'Give me the special' - and the special is tortoise meat. It is a huge market," Mr Rafeliarisoa says.

Herilala Randriamahazo of Madagascar's Turtle Survival Alliance says he recently went on a research trip to Tsiombe and Beloka, posing as a tourist to see how common tortoise meat has become on restaurant menus.

To his horror, a bowl of tortoise meat, stewed in tomatoes, garlic and onion, was sold for a mere $2.50 (£1.50).

It was served to him in less than 30 minutes.

Continue reading the main story

“Start Quote

People respected tortoises. They did not even touch them”

End Quote Ndranto Razakamanarina Madagascar's Alliance of Conservation Groups

"I sent it back. The waiter said he could get me something different, even a live one right away," Mr Randriamahazo says.

He says the streets of Tsiombe and Beloka are littered with tortoise shells - an unfortunate sign of the insatiable appetite people have acquired for them.

Yet, Madagascar's tortoises were once protected by the cultural beliefs of some of the island's communities.

"People respected tortoises. They did not even touch them," Mr Randriamahazo says.

Now, if tortoises do not end up in the rubbish heaps of restaurants, they end up in the suitcases of tortoise smugglers.

Sexual potions

Madagascar is known for its rich biodiversity but this has attracted smugglers interested in everything from its precious rosewood to minerals and tortoises - and the famous lemurs.

An alliance of 27 national conservation groups recently accused the government of being complicit in the illegal trade, as it had not cracked down on the "looting and plunder" of natural resources.

A WWF report on Madagascar's biodiversity earlier this month said more than 600 new species had been discovered in the "Treasure Island" over the last 10 years, but many were already endangered.

With only a few hundred of the world's most endangered Ploughshare Tortoises left, hundreds of species are crawling towards extinction behind them.

Tortoise shells litter towns in Madagascar

Hasina Randriamanampisoa, of the Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust, says the smuggling rings are well-organised, selling tortoises on the black market in Asian countries such as Thailand.

Wealthy Asians see tortoises as exotic pets, and are prepared to pay up to $10,000 (£6,250) for them.

Traditional doctors in Asia also buy the shells of baby tortoises, using them in medicine concoctions that allegedly enhance the sexual performance of men.

Conservationists say smugglers pack up to 400 baby tortoises in suitcases, before flying to cities such as Bangkok.

Increasingly, they are also smuggling out adult tortoises to breed in captivity in Asian countries.

Mr Randriamanampisoa says tortoise numbers are rapidly dwindling and they risk extinction over the next decade.

"Even if the poaching stops now, the natural habitat is so vast, there are chances that the females cannot meet the males in the wild to mate and to have babies," he says.

Mr Randriamanampisoa said there four species of tortoise "are endemic to Madagascar, so if they disappear here you will only be able to see them in zoos".

ADDICTION

(e dik shen) : n. The state of being given up or having yielded to a habit or practice or something habit-forming, as narcotics (or Facebook!) to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma [(s. of addictio) a giving over, surrender.

I love my giant unabridged Random House Dictionary, a gift given to me by dear Ned, a friend now deceased with whom I shared the experience of his heart transplant in Stanford 16 years ago.
So, why is this my topic this early morning? Well, I'm ADDICTED to writing in the early morning, whether in my hand-written journal or on this blog. As we all now know, I WAS addicted to YAHOO NEWS, but have not read one article this morning and went straight to my first addiction: steaming java with frothed vanilla cream and then sit down to enjoy that with this.

Well, I also didn't answer that first question: why this topic? Well dear readers, we are all plagued with SOME FORM of addiction, even if it's being addicted to saying one is not addicted to anything, because to cease not being addicted to something, a trauma on some level would result. Which brings us to another word:

TRAUMA: n. 1.Pathol. a. a body injury produced by violence or any thermal, chemical, etc., extrinsic agent. b. the condition produced by this; traumatism. 2. Psychiatry. a startling experience which has a lasting effect on mental life; a shock.

So our first definition relates to the pathological aspect, while the second relates to the psychological effect.

It would truly be startling to wake up and not have this cup of coffee and instead take the dawg out for an early morning walk, like VERY early, because I wake up really damned early no matter how late I stay up reading or streaming Netflix documentaries. I honestly don't need no effin coffee to wake up. I simply LOVE the HABIT of brewing it ~ LOVE the aroma as it teases my olfactory nerve ~ LOVE the sensation of anticipation as I pour my frothed and steaming vanilla half 'n half over the deep umber liquid and the foam, ah, the foam! The computer awaits me with the lull of it's monitorial glow and I sit before it with this cup of celestial delight as a concert pianist sits before the enormous Steinway to begin her Carnegie Hall performance. (Yes, we are being a bit dramatic here, but such is the rite of a writer)!

But "WHY", we ask, "WHY THIS TOPIC???" ~ Because...in using the power of those UNIVERSAL COMMANDS, this topic is one of the responses of the universe moving shit around to make one of my commands a reality.....namely choosing clarity of my own mind, clear direction of my life's purpose this time around, and having my soul in command over my mind with my ego behaving itself silently, waiting to serve ME when I call upon IT rather than the other way around, which is the basic curse of human nature.

Like I've told you in my previous blog on the subject when I recommended this book ~ UNIVERSAL COMMANDS WORK. In the book, when addressing the articulation involved in forming effective commands to run your life from your place of empowerment, (not a sniveling, whining little insignificant piece of powerless sinning shit that the Catholic dudes in those weird hats would have us believe we are) it is recommended to look up words for intended use in a dictionary that gives it's Latin root, because a word that sounds appropriate, like "want" - neutralizes your request and your command is not only worthless, but provides for you the opposite effect of what you are attempting to manifest, because 'wanting' means 'lacking' and if you are expressing to the universe your lack of something by saying you want it, you will continue to manifest that which is lacking in your life. (If you must read this sentence twice, then do so, because it is the only thing that makes sense of everyone's lacking enough resources for their lives to be easier and their continued 'wanting' things to go better!)

Hence, my love affair with the dictionary escalates. As I've always loved dictionaries, this love affair may now enter into the territory of an addiction. (Insert big laughing and winking icon here) See how the cycle just goes round and round? Why fight it (?), we are on a spinning planet going round and round, around a sun that goes round and round, in a solar system that goes round and round, etcetera, etcetera. It's only gravity that keeps us from getting dizzy. And we come to learn that gravity, our friend, turns out to be a foe to our youthful appearance~I mean just look at the effect it has on our perky young breasts and our firm, collagen-rich dermis? Are we laughing yet?

The good news is, I don't put any Bailey's in with my morning jo nor do I sneak little shots of vodka out in the shed, splash on my perfume, and think I've fooled everyone. I can't even fool myself anymore, the gig is UP! Besides, thinking one is fooling others, one is only fooling oneself. Because in the end, if your 'extrinsic agent' of choice is as destructive as alcohol or drugs, what does the addiction serve other than the demonic side of the ego? Life is a wrestling match with the demons until one comes to accept their presence without thinking one must engage in a battle with them. The demons in the form of addictive substances (extrinsic agents) will always be present on the material plane, but like our own ego, we must use them without letting them run us and taking over our empowerment. How can you enjoy a cocktail when you have to sneak a shot just to continue the game of thinking you need it in order to function? I'd personally rather have a few beers every once in a blue moon, and enjoy the silliness it evokes for an hour or so, but then again, people DO drink to act like me, I'm just naturally silly when I'm in my natural habitat!

From our place of empowerment, the true REVOLUTION begins, and our global societies are in need of a revolution, for the extrinsic agents have run it into the ground.....the revolution starts WITHIN us. GO FOR YOUR EMPOWERMENT people! Surrendering to addictive tendencies regarding substances that poison the body is giving up your own empowerment. The bad guys, the greedy ones in power, want us all to be addicted to something, it keeps the people out of touch with their own awesome power and keeps THEM in power.

Just look at the energy it takes to maintain an addiction? Just look at how it destroys life, trust, families and the very person hosting the demon? There are demons and angels and both are present at all times.....it's YOUR CHOICE. Being told it's a disease gives the addict an excuse to further give over their power of choice. CHOICE is not just a word, it's a POWER. Disease, whether it's cancer or an addiction is indicative of an IMBALANCE. CHOOSE TO BE BALANCED, and see how your life unfolds. Choose to use your EMPOWERMENT!

PARENTAL FREEDOMS ERODING

PARENTS BEWARE: Your freedom to choose the best course of therapy for your child is at risk. This article listed above is an outrage! Yes, there are the cases of some religious fanatics withholding medical treatment that is necessary and use what they believe is "the power of prayer" for the return of their child's health, and those children need intervening from authorities~~but not in this case.

The authorities are also trying to lump together all cases to support their intervening on parental rights pertaining to this issue. The problem with the judicial system, is they don't look at cases on an individual basis, but arrive at their decisions based on other cases that are allegedly similar.

WE THE PEOPLE need to not let this continue. WHAT CAN WE DO??? ~ if your child has ALOT of energy, too much maybe (all children have more energy than their worn out parents!) DON'T let a doctor give an official diagnosis of hyperactivity due to any SYNDROME they can legally prescribe drugs for. REMEMBER, the pharmaceutical companies are very powerful and have strong influence politically. They are not interested in the well being of you, your children or your grandchildren...they want us all on SOME sort of medication to feed their greed.

I for one was diagnosed as having bipolar depression when I was simply post-menopausal. The psychiatrist did not even ask this depressed middle aged woman in his office if I was taking any hormonal supplementation. He simply prescribed two meds and said "if they work, you're bipolar, if they don't, then you're not" ~ The two years I was on initially those meds, then a change of meds because they 'didn't work' ~ almost KILLED ME. I am not exaggerating ~ suicidal thoughts were prevalent, I could not function, I could not respond to ordinary life stresses in a functional way ~ my personality and ZEST that always got me through everything in life was GONE.

I was desperate for some sort of change, as I know too well what suicide does to the survivors, and I really did not want my life to end, I just wanted the suffering from within to end. I could not use my inner strength to WILL IT AWAY. At the suggestion of a friend, I had a simple saliva test from a doctor to test my hormone levels. They were all so severely deficient, this was said to be the cause of my depression and host of other symptoms, including the resultant osteoporosis that the scans have decided I have. Osteoporosis occurs the first two years after the menses stop. Calcium does not replenish the calcium that is lost in the bones. I suggest everyone google these issues and don't trust their doctors, get educated yourself. By the way: after the compounding of a bio-identical hormonal cream, my depressive symptoms have disappeared entirely and life is once again inhabited by ME, the ME I used to know, I am happy and fulfilled and fully functional. THERE IS NO NEED FOR WOMEN TO SUFFER FROM THIS!

With any health issue, educate yourself. Don't blindly go to the pharmacy with that piece of paper to get some drug without first researching what the symptoms could be caused from. There is no excuse for not taking your health or that of your child to the level of knowing about it yourself, before you even get to the doctor's appointment.

THE GOVERNMENT IS SLOWLY TAKING AWAY THE PARENTAL RIGHTS WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILDREN, using the few cases of fanatical people that shouldn't have reproduced in the first place. DON'T ALLOW A DIAGNOSIS OF ADD, BIPOLAR or any other psychological diagnosis be on the medical record of your child, as they can enforce you give your child drugs that will alter their developing mind, personality and emotions.

HERE'S THE ARTICLE THAT SPURRED THIS BLOG ENTRY: It's an outrage!

Mother battles Michigan over daughter's medication

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AP – This May 12, 2011 photo shows Maryanne Godboldo in Detroit. Godboldo is locked in a battle with Michigan's …

By COREY WILLIAMS, Associated Press Corey Williams, Associated Press – Sun May 22, 5:57 pm ET

DETROIT – Frustration over her physically impaired daughter's medical care led Maryanne Godboldo to lash out at what she considered state interference and into a 12-hour standoff when Detroit police came to take the girl away.

When it ended, the unemployed mother was in handcuffs; her daughter placed in a psychiatric hospital for children.

Godboldo now is locked in a bitter battle with Michigan's Department of Human Services over her right to determine whether the girl should continue taking the anti-psychotic drug Risperdal and the government's responsibility to look after the child's welfare.

Godboldo doesn't trust doctors much — she blames some of the girl's past medical problems on possible physician negligence and complications from childhood immunizations, but did not name the doctors or release her daughter's medical records to The Associated Press. She claims the girl has responded better to holistic treatment that does not include Risperdal.

But the state is not budging on its assertion that without the proper medication, Ariana is at risk.

"Our mandate is to go into court and prove there is medical neglect," said Human Services Director Maura Corrigan, who declined to speak directly about Godboldo's case due to the ongoing court proceedings.

"Is there harm to the child? That's what we are trying to assess," Corrigan told the AP in a recent interview.

A defiant Godboldo still believes she was right to defy police, despite five days in jail and criminal charges, including discharge of a firearm, three counts of assault with a dangerous weapon and resisting officers.

"I was in my home. Why should I come out? They were invading my home," Godboldo said.

Citing the charges, Godboldo declined to say if she fired a gun when police arrived at her home March 24. But officers said a gun and about 43 rounds of live ammunition were in the house, and a spent shell casing was found after the standoff, according to court records. Ariana also was in the house.

"I would always be concerned with a parent who has a gun and is using it when a child is present because accidents happen," said Oakland County Probate Court Judge Linda Hallmark, who isn't connected to the case but handles child custody issues. "If a parent feels the child is going to be removed and there isn't a basis for it, there are legal avenues that the parent needs to follow."

Ariana already had her share of medical troubles when Godboldo started giving her Risperdal more than a year ago at a doctor's suggestion. She had lost her right leg below the knee as an infant and wears a prosthesis. Godboldo claims she also developed encephalitis, or inflammation of the brain, before entering 6th grade.

She said her daughter complained often of being dizzy and had a hoarse voice, became more clingy and fearful, and avoided playing outside.

"It happened slowly at first, but it was enough to know when your child makes a change," Godboldo said.

She sought help at a Detroit area center. Staff there put Ariana on a treatment plan that included Risperdal, said Allison Folmar, one of Godboldo's attorneys.

Child Protective Services in its petition wrote that Ariana was diagnosed with "psychosis NOS," or "not otherwise specified," Folmar said.

"They are saying `it's something going on in her head, but we don't know what it is,'" the attorney added.

But Godboldo balked at a suggestion that her daughter be placed in a mental hospital. She took the girl's treatment to another center. She also decided to wean her from Risperdal, which sometimes is used to treat schizophrenia.

"Ariana has some issues. She requires one-on-one attention," said Folmar, describing how the girl at times appears unresponsive. But "she writes. She reads."

Risperdal often is used to contain behaviors like aggression and even treat autism, said Derek H. Suite, a board certified psychiatrist and president and chief executive of Full Circle Health in the Bronx, N.Y. Risperdal use has shown dramatic reductions in psychotic symptoms, but there can be side-effects, he added.

"Sometimes kids can have neurological problems ... muscular tics," Suite said. "These drugs can slow you down."

After Godboldo's confrontation with police, Ariana spent about a month in a children's psychiatric facility. She now is living with Godboldo's sister, Penny. A judge has ordered that other adult relatives be present when Godboldo visits with her daughter.

But "to this day, there is not one court order saying give her the medication," Folmar said. "No one has recommended giving the child the medication."

It's not unusual for parents and the state to be at odds over what's best.

Two Idaho parents lost a civil lawsuit last year when a judge ruled their rights were not violated by an officer who took custody of their infant daughter so a doctor could check for signs of meningitis. Dale and Leilani Neumann of Wisconsin were convicted of reckless homicide following the 2008 death of their 11-year-old daughter, whose undiagnosed diabetes was treated with prayer instead of conventional medicine.

Godboldo said the state was not involved in the care of her daughter until she pursued a more holistic treatment. When asked by the AP what that entailed, she replied: "God's medication."

After Godboldo refused to attend a meeting with Child Protective Services, officers arrived at her home to remove Ariana. Godboldo claimed they never showed her a court order.

Detroit police declined to comment about the case "because of the litigation involved," Sgt. Eren Stephens said in an email.

When Godboldo refused to allow police in, the officers tried to force their way through a side door but backed off after hearing a gun shot, court documents said.

"Maryann did not shoot at police and she did not fire a gun with any intention of scaring the police," Folmar said. "But even if she did fire a so-called warning shot, right now the question is of self-defense."

MOMENT OF LOVE

Let us all have a moment of love today. Not because all those religious fanatics are spreading fear of today being some sort of culmination of planetary doom, but because there is simply too much hatred everywhere.

My news fasting is not going too well, as I do partake in reading some news. HOWEVER, I don't spend hours on it anymore. I only skim certain headlines, and then go to the commentary and post a few comments here and there. I did, however, cow to the article about the Russian guy who was busted for eating a human liver with his potatoes. The commentary was hilarious, and endeared my fellow commentators to me with their senses of humor.

In skimming today's news, and then the commentaries, it seems HATRED is at an all time high. The commentaries on various articles illustrate this hatred clearly, and I posted some comments and replies to various haters to focus rather on their own empowerment.

HATRED destabilizes our empowerment, renders us with feelings of powerlessness over our own lives, and some people react to that very thing by committing acts of violence against innocent, defenseless creatures. It is a vicious cycle and to me, the only way to shift it is to give ourselves, even if it's only a moment of every day, over to feelings of love. Doesn't have to be focused on anyone in particular, like forcing ourselves to love perceived enemies, etc.....just feel the love in our hearts that created us. The love we hold for others, the love we hold for anything at all...just focus on that feeling of love. Just for even a moment.

I highly recommend the book: COMMANDING THE UNIVERSE by Andreas Satori. It is a system not a religion or a belief, that we can simply begin using to shift things in our own lives. It works. I haven't won the lotto yet, but then again I haven't bought a ticket. Besides, there's SO much more to life than money and the struggle for it and the struggle one has without enough of it flowing into their lives. This book will assist in the raising of our consciousness without being attached to any deities, religion, belief system or science. It just IS. Out of all the books I've read over the decades on all the subjects of healing, spirituality, self-help, etc., this one book is THE most vital of them all.

May this blog entry spread L O V E even for a moment, even to one person out there. Know this: we are all loved, not judged, by that which created all.

MASS CIRCUMCISION ARTICLE GOT ME!

OK, I caved in on the news fast with the article on mass circumcision just done in the Philippines. They are even trying to get into the Guinness Book of world records by outdoing previous mutilation parties. Can you say "BARBARIC"????

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110507/ap_on_he_me/as_philippines_circumcision_3

The commentary was positively riveting and wholly entertaining, and I not only commented, but replied to several other comments as well. I just couldn't help myself!!!

The other article I caved in to reading was how billionaires all got together for a meeting in Tucson to discuss how to effectively give away their money to make a difference. One person's comment was worth replying to, he cut to the point of the problems with politicians and corporate America and just how f***ed the middle class is in this country and other aspects that are very real that are not being addressed. It was very well written and everything was spelled correctly....a rarity on Yahoo commentaries! It was a comment that I cut/pasted in a word doc that I will be reading on a news cast video I will soon be making.

Funny thing is, as I was typing the reply to this comment, saying how it is a situation such as this that is prompting me to walk, not actually "run" for President. This decision is still on the fence, as I will be sacrificing my invisibility and sense of safety, and thwarting myself and my family into the spotlight of this highly charged 'scene'.

We need to evolve from and heal the karma of this country being built on slavery and genocide....when I was writing about this, the whole thing disappeared and I had to start over. I know I didn't hit a wrong button, it seems the Yahoo censor department didn't let my post get NEAR publication. I revised it somewhat and re-posted. It was all about revolution of the mind that is necessary, not a revolution with guns and violence. I guess anything publicly written with the words GUEVARA~REVOLUTION~PRESIDENT~GENOCIDE is flagged by intelligence immediately. They may again be onto me as they were after I made my book public years ago.

My inner revolutionary is alive, well and kicking once again. I am tired of the mass sedation imposed on this country, and am tired of people allowing themselves to be sedated through mass media, electronic toys and mass-produced toxic 'food'. Commercially produced food provides not only no nutrients and has no taste compared to organically grown food, but actually poisons the planet to produce it, induces suffering of animals and poisons the bodies and minds of ourselves and our children. It starts with being en utero with what the mother eats, and goes to the infant when it begins drinking mass produced formula and GMO cereals. And then the new baby boy has to experience surgically imposed genital mutilation in the name of hygiene onto his brand new baby boy body and wide open psyche. No wonder men are hell-bent on warring and raping and torturing! (There are exceptions, of course!)

Which brings this blog entry back around to the beginning and the reason I broke my news fast, not for long, but to read up on the insanity that reigns through man.

How d'you like the font color I used? It's called foreskin pink!

MEDIA BULLSH*T

This is the PERFECT TIME for the NEWS FAST. The headlines all breeze past me: uncanny how this Islamist death comes perfectly timed just two days after the ROYAL WEDDING.

Can't everyone see it's media manipulation at it's finest??? I read just a snippet or two of media B.S. in this regard~~just enough to catch they are 99.9% positive of it being who they are telling us it is, yet their cheaper version of the DNA testing they did to ID him confirms that 99.9% of the DNA strand is identical in most people. WHUT???? Then they dumped his body into the sea according to Islamic tradition.

The whole thing is a pile of media/government crap~~or is that government-media crap. THEY ARE FEEDING US THE MAIN COURSE OF SH*T HERE PEOPLE~~~are we going to actually SWALLOW IT??????

I'm A TOPIC!!!

THIS JUST IN: I've just learned from a most reliable source that at a funeral of a lady I didn't even know, I, ME, MOI, was a topic of discussion!!! I don't know exactly the nature of the discussion, these details have not yet been revealed, however, one lady, whom I DO know of leaned over and said, "she took my husband."

Gossip is a pain-body activity, and is usually based on non-truths, exaggerations and judgments that are always inaccurate. Gossip is shared between people who in order to feel good about themselves, must have "something to say" about a person that is not present, along with some story that maligns that person. Others of the same level of personal growth, lean in with interest to listen to what that person has to say, giving the gossiper those desired moments of feeling important, "in the spotlight of attention". Then the other participants will add their two cents worth of judgments and what they might "have heard" to add to their own feeling of importance in those seconds they have the attention of the others. I feel the need to add here, a tidbit of enlightenment for all women who's husbands left them for another: There is NO ONE that can STEAL another's HUSBAND. No perfect marriage will find one of the partners straying from the sanctity of their union, either emotionally or sexually. You must face the fact that your marriage had holes in it that you chose to ignore for long enough to lose the interest and respect of your partner. If a woman or man insists even 10 years after their spouse left them, that they are the victim of having their partner stolen, they have not looked at their role in the dynamic of the situation, have taken no responsibility for the breakdown of their marriage, and is not getting their share of the growth opportunities that come from such an earthly experience. The eternal victim learns nothing, but in fact propagates further pain body activity. This pain body spews gossip. The circle goes round and round and the reasons for their life situations are nothing more than feasting material for their ever-growing pain-bodies, when in fact, any and all of inter-relational situations are but growing opportunities for our OWN selves. I have taken my share of the responsibility for the above mentioned gossip that continues to go around this small town. It doesn't effect me that one of my names has been turned into gossip fodder. I have several names and may yet have several more, so if one of them is trashed, this means not only NOTHING to me, but is quite possibly a marketing potential for something I've created and wish to sell, be it an idea or a book!

As an empath, I can FEEL the vibration of gossip going on, but I choose to let it drop away and not adversely effect me. Women who feel they must gossip about another and propagate a pain-body story, simply highlight publicly the fact that they don't have a life of any significance and are parading their own sense of powerlessness. My sympathies are with you, dear lady, and my hopes are that you indeed find your purpose, as you certainly have enough financial resources to not continue such self-demeaning activities and can actually put GOOD ENERGY on this ailing planet. I find it humorous that I am discussed at funerals of people I don't even know. There's no telling how many circles I am discussed in, the participants taking glee in trashing the name of someone they've never met and certainly have never even had a conversation with. This illustrates the purpose of reincarnation, as people assuming no responsibility for the events in their own lives, continually blaming others, have lots of lives to live until they "get it". May I recommend you invest some of your financial fortune into treating your ailing sense of self with some CELLULAR MEMORY RELEASE sessions....I can refer you to a fantastic practitioner! Taking responsibility for our life's events is not easy and sometimes downright painful. It's like walking over hot coals. But, it's part of our reason for being here, which is an age-old question: the reason for our existence..."why am I here?" ......a question that has been pondered since the onset of the thinking human.
This of course leads to my recent discovery of the new science of Genetology, not to be confused with Genealogy but it is the reason genealogy exists! More on this topic in another blog....stay tuned!

NEWS FASTING: DAY 2

With the headlines blaring on my Yahoo! homepage, it was difficult to not get sucked into the goo. I did read just a couple of paragraphs into the killing of Osama bin Laden, but then the only thoughts were "this is all crap" ~ so I happily just checked my email.

William & Kate caught my eye with their "sensible" beginning of married life, and I did succumb to reading that very brief article. Although the news page held out delectable temptations to read more about this adorable couple, I happily resisted. Match dot com doesn't even hold my interest. I've received several winks this morning and one who sent me a message saying "you look like a movie star and I'd like to be friends." I skimmed their profiles briefly with no interest or the pangs of "maybe this one" as in pre-fast days.

Honestly, after a weekend of experiencing a lovely home-style friendship of CMR sharing, long walks with the dog and preparing delicious meals, complete with lots of laughter, the news page holds my interest NOT AT ALL!

As I said I'd report personal progress that occurs with the extra time I have, it has come to my attention that I have an actual title and a degree in a field who's name I myself have discovered: Genetology. I am a genetologist. I have already begun "the paper" on this new science which is: The study of the effect of genitalia on human behavior and the human decision making process. Your amusement is guaranteed, as mine is over the top on this one, folks. The discovery of this term and what it means found me laughing my arse off, and that of my friend. There will be more on this very fascinating science, one of quantum controversy, on another blog. Stay tuned, friends and fans, for more riveting details on both my NEWS FAST and on this exciting new discovery in science!

LET THE FAST BEGIN!

For some magical reason, the fast is not only coming naturally, but the addiction I thought I had to reading news media has evaporated with the royal marriage. An 'instant shift' has occurred. Not only do I not want to read one item regarding the event, but there's nothing else I want to read either. When that news page comes up when I turn on my computer, I glaze over and just head for the email sign in 'button'. Has anyone else felt their life to be pathetic and small lately? With the inflation of the gigantically global self importance royal balloon, a perception of smallness and insignificance of a nobody's life lived seems to be a side effect for me, who viewed it all from the shadow of the thing. Anyone else out there experience this? I could do more to help the world if I didn't have to do my own feeding and dishes, clean my own household, do my own laundry and paperwork, earn a little living to pay all the trivial expenses required to run a nobody's life or squeeze my own toothpaste onto my own toothbrush. There would be a lot of time to help others in some way, or fill a museum with my artwork, bookstores with my literary works. But, when one thinks about it, each person's existence is sort of miraculous when considering our ancestry (although modern society has no interest in their ancestors)~~if not for the amorous actions of people long ago who we have no idea existed, made love at a certain time to create the next in the lineage who would ultimately be amorous with someone in another lineage to create our parental units, we would not be here. And then think of all daddy's sperm swimming up momma's tube, just the right ONE that was the spark of US is the one that penetrated that egg follicle that ripened at just the right time when the parents were not fighting but "in the mood" for love. Then all those cells divided to make the vehicle in which the spark of our divine nature found from somewhere on some other dimension of existence and then zeroed in, occupied and voile'~~ here we are! Nope, there's nothing insignificant about THAT! Each one of us is a miracle, warts 'n all!

p.s.... I don't have warts

ROYAL WEDDING SAFELY EXECUTED

AND WHAT A SHOW IT WAS ! When Diana's two princes appeared in their Rolls and rode to the Abbey, I did well with emotion for their mother. The site of them made me so proud for her. There's a maternal web that links all mothers and we can feel clearly what others in "THE MOTHERHOOD" experience, whether they are on the other side of the veil or still EARTHBOUND.

Douglas & I shared a royal evening. I'd been painting a window absolutely all day, with Cheyana in tow. She was incredibly patient and very well behaved, tethered to a post next to me. I would pet her and love on her throughout the day.

While Douglas napped in preparation for the televised viewing in the wee hours, I baked lemon scones at my domicile and tried to nap but could not. I was restless with the activities going on in the Greenwich Mean Time Zone, wrote the previous blog and gathered what I would take to Douglas' for the private party: scones, coffee, breve, the necessities of course. I indulged in a coffee at 11:30 p.m. as I prepared to go over. It was quite wicked drinking my creamy caffeinated brew at such an hour!

We watched the POMP and had a jolly good time. I wore the fascinator I made that is pictured here, white pajamas and my flowing white spa-robe from Italy, a delicious garment that I feel rather like a duchess when wearing.

It's 10 a.m. on Friday, and I am DEAD! Viewed their "Kiss" from my house, as Doug didn't stay up for that. It was rather anti-climactic after the amazing ceremony that moved us both deeply.

Truly, it made me wish to be married if indeed marriage is about the words the Archbishop of Canterbury spoke so eloquently of it being. I had a sense that I missed out....but I did not give into that yearning for long, as that is pure pain-body lingo and I didn't want to mar the beautiful effect those words and prayers had on me~~that being I was filled with hope, inspiration and the sense that something very good was embracing me and guiding me and supporting me.

A most powerful moment was when all in attendance said The Lord's Prayer, of which I of course said also. To think so many were saying that prayer aloud all over the globe simultaneously was very, very powerful and moving.

I missed Diana, but felt her there of course. Presence lives on long after the body is no longer attached to it. My lemon scones came out perfectly!