DOG TRAINING GONE WRONG

OSMOSIS OF NEUROSIS: the passing of neurotic personal behavior onto the unwitting canine companion.

POODLE THERAPY was the conclusion I had come to as a means to resolve my need for companionship and apply focus to accomplish something resulting in a positive outcome I could see immediately. Good training = Good dawg. Nothing more beautiful than a well trained dog, nothing more gratifying than to have a canine companion who's impeccable training made her a joy to walk. Make that canine companion a beautiful red standard poodle, and one could spend time grooming, preening and brushing her beautiful coat, deepening the bond, and it would also provide the 'touch therapy' humans need that I sorely lacked in my life.

Getting a beautiful dog was alot easier than getting a boyfriend. Maintaining a dog is way easier (despite all the work) than maintaining a relationship with a mortal man. Also, getting a dog would end this sometimes impossible multi-dimensional association I was having with Ernesto Che Guevara. (yes, I endure some thinking I'm either crazy or possessed, but whatever!) I've always been a target for judgments, but that is another blog altogether.

He (my invisible friend), always said he would stay with me as long as I had neither a boyfriend or a pet. I even wrote in my journal during the time I was "living my book" that I should just "get a poodle or a goldfish" - - and be done with the whole multi-dimensional thing anyway. Of course I did rebuke him from my life in the name of God, Jesus, Mary...you name it, several times, and his not leaving indicated he did not have ill intent and was neither a 'tramp spirit' or evil entity possessing me, as the recitation of prayer and psalms would have ended it. Nothing evil remains in the Light of the Divine. I bathed myself, my consciousness and my surroundings with prayer, always have, always will. He stayed.

So, now I have my beautiful RED STANDARD POODLE, "CHEYANA". I got her almost a year ago when she was 4 months old. She came to me housebroken, click-trained and adorable. She is loveable, without issues of trauma or abuse. I thought long and hard about a rescue dog or an intended pedigree that was bred to be sold or shown. A standard poodle was my choice - I have allergies to animal hair and having grandchildren warranted an undamaged pup (in my opinion).

"Besides," I said also, "if I'm going to do the intense work and have the expense of a dog, it's going to be a breed I always wanted, which is the standard poodle." So there.

She entered my life in perfect condition. The most intelligent breed of dog, she immediately learned to sit/stay/lay down and come in both French and English. I wanted my granddaughter to learn French, and I wanted to learn French also, so to have a dog trained in both languages, would ensure we learn this beautiful language. This has been very rewarding.

DOGS REFLECT THE OWNER. I've heard this, read this, you name it, this sentiment is indeed a reality that has proven itself over the ions of people and their dogs. People even come to resemble their pet and vice versa. Hell, my daughter and son in law look at Cheyana and say "you know mom, you guys look alike." My reply is "I don't even have brown eyes -- I LOOK like a POODLE????"

On this note, it must be noted that after I got my dog, I experienced a year of intense personal grief and symptoms of chemical imbalances, first diagnosed in my brain, then testing positive for hormonal imbalances. Either way it gets diagnosed, the end result is I was experiencing a disturbed sense of well being resulting in outward, shall we say, neurotic behavior. This neurotic behavior was not publicly demonstrated, but came over me in all those private moments alone (now with dog) in my beautiful cabin retreat in the woods by the flowing creek.

I had a professional trainer spend a day here and show me the correct way to train Cheyana, and he did laugh and say 'really, it's the dog owners that need the training.' Man oh man, that statement rings as true as that Bell Tower in Venice every hour on the hour! I have temporarily ruined my perfect poodle.

A dog trainer may sound like a luxury, but I believe they can train a dog without passing onto it whatever their personal life issues are. They simply TRAIN THE DOG. A dog owner that reads about dog training and wants to attempt to train their dog like a professional cannot do so from a neutral 'dog trainer' space....they inadvertently pass onto the dog, their personal neurosis. My poodle is living proof of this dog owner/dog osmosis of neurosis. I say I 'temporarily ruined' her, because with this awareness staring me in the face, my intention is to reverse this by a) contact the dog trainer to get tips on reversing this osmosis and learn how to behave like a dog trainer, and b) becoming a dog trainer, not a dog owner, and c) staying consistent with all of the above.

The hormone supplemental gel will be arriving in the post today. I know eating the entire tube will not instantly balance me out and I will resist the temptation to apply the 'more is better' adage that humans frequently apply to situations, and simply follow the directions.

I will place myself in a personal boot-camp and get my ass exercising because my life literally depends on it. Just because I'm not fat and still look hot fully dressed, doesn't mean I'm in tone and possessing any strength or muscle mass. Point is, I can fool myself on the outside, but I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I'm just flat getting to the 'age' where I can't get away with this too much longer. Lazybones needs to SHAPE UP!!! Maybe I need a boyfriend that's a drill sergeant and in great shape, thereby having me LOVE to go to the gym. Or maybe I should pretend I just got signed to star in a movie like G.I. Jane. The latter is more realistic.

Either way, my dog does not lie. She is reflecting back the neurosis I experienced and want to forget now that I'm emerging on the other side of. In other words, I have to BE THE CHANGE. And I still am not 'out of the woods' yet, I am only 'emerging'.

I'll keep y'all posted on my progress. And now that I've make this public, I've GOT to live something worth keeping my fans coming back to read! So keep those cards and letters coming people---I love you one and all! Au Revoir.....